All Roads Lead To Yale
by 7gifts
Summary: Blair is more desperate than ever to get into Yale. She ropes an unwilling Dan into her plans. However, she wasn’t expecting the road to Yale to lead to other things.
1. Chapter 1

**Story Title: **All Roads Lead To Yale

**Characters/Pairings - **Dan/Blair (Serena, Chuck, Jenny, Rufus, Vanessa, and other characters also feature)

**Plot: **Takes place sometime within the Episode 2.21 "Seder Anything" universe.

**Summary: **Blair is more desperate than ever to get into Yale. She ropes an unwilling Dan into her plans. However, she wasn't expecting the road to Yale to lead to other things.

**Notes:** Everything in Episode 2.21 occurred except, Blair didn't make up with Nate, Blair didn't ask Cyrus to talk to his friend about NYU and Rufus and Jenny spent the night at Lily's.

In this universe, Vanessa comes to Dan for comfort following her encounter with Chuck and her break up with Nate respectively. Dan and Vanessa brood over drinks; Dan has one or two drinks while Vanessa gets royally drunk, causing Dan to put her to bed in Jenny's room.

**Dedications and thank yous:** A big thank you to my beta Megan who waded through the badness and helped me shape this story into something more realistic and hopefully interesting. I appreciate your patience, tenacity and dedication. It couldn't have been easy reading the same old story (loaded with badness) again and again. I couldn't have done this without you and I learnt so much from this experience (absolutely invaluable) and I hope I will be able to transfer everything I learnt into my fic writing. I don't know if I'll write a fic of this length again though.

Thank you to Vivian for your invaluable help with the initial six chapters, I appreciated the feedback; it was instrumental in shaping the plot, story flow and future chapters.

miss_pai, thank you again for beta reading the first chapter.

Now that I've finished gushing like a fan girl, unto the story and happy reading

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Showing Humphrey Who's Boss**

_The next best strategy is to market yourself more effectively. – Sun Tzu's "The Art of War for Executives"_

Blair Waldorf was deep in thought after Serena left.

Blair's thoughts were focused on the day's events: Nate, his grandfather, Yale and the futility that was now her future. Everything that she worked hard for over the years lay in tatters before her.

Whatever war she had been fighting left her feeling brutalized, her psyche was severely impacted and words like "casualty of war" echoed excruciatingly in her mind.

She forced herself to snap out of it. There was only so much room for a pity party and it made her nauseous.

She was Blair Waldorf, she survived her father leaving her mother for another man; she survived Nate sleeping with Serena; she survived Serena disappearing for almost a year; she survived last year's pregnancy scare and also survived Chuck going AWOL.

She certainly could survive this and was determined to. Somehow she was going to put her life back together and, like the movies, she was going to get her happy ending. She deserved Yale.

Over in Brooklyn, Dan Humphrey sat in the living area of the loft after he put Vanessa to bed in Jenny's room. He was still reeling from the effects of Yale refusing him financial aid and the knowledge that his parents had insufficient funds for his college tuition.

Blair Waldorf must be laughing on his grave shouting "Financial Aidiot," he mused.

He didn't understand it and couldn't reconcile himself to his newly discovered reality. All his life, he worked hard to get to this point only for his dream to be unattainable.

What had been the point of constantly striving to be at the top of his class over the years? What had been the point of maintaining a 4.0 GPO? So that he could end up as a cater waiter to the likes of Eleanor Waldorf? Even if he worked all summer it still wouldn't pay for Yale.

Dan doubted that people like Chuck Bass, Nate Archibald, Serena Van Der Woodsen or Blair Waldorf were going through the same dilemma. A knock on the door broke him out of his reverie; he got up from where he sat and opened the door.

"Blair?"

"Humphrey," replied Blair coolly as she pushed Dan aside and walked into the loft.

"Come in Blair, why wait for an invitation?" muttered Dan in retort as he closed the door behind her.

"Do you always talk to yourself, Humphrey?"

Blair stood in front of him, legs astride, purse firmly encased between her left arm and her chest. She wore a wine colored coat which was trimmed with fur at the collar. Donned on her head was a matching hat that reminded Dan of a flapper girl.

Blair looked around the apartment -- poorly lit except for the lamp in the corner. Empty bottles of alcohol askew and littered on the coffee table, and strewn across the sofa was a feminine-looking jacket. Despite the apartment's present occupancy, something about it reeked of desolation.

"Entertaining Humphrey? Who's pathetic enough to go out with you?" said Blair with an arched eyebrow.

"Vanessa's here," he replied. Blair gave him a look that he couldn't decipher and he involuntarily added to placate her, "She's asleep in Jenny's bedroom; she had too much to drink."

Blair scoffed at his comment and then fixed her eyes firmly on him. Dan shifted uncomfortably, but looked her square in the eyes. He placed his hands in his pockets and asked, "Why are you here, Blair? Brooklyn isn't exactly next door to the Upper East Side."

"You owe me and I'm here to collect."

"Excuse me?"

Blair advanced towards Dan menacingly; she was dangerously close to him and poked him in the chest with every word that followed.

"The only reason I am not going to Yale is because you couldn't keep your mouth and flies closed," she said in a hissing manner.

"What?" stuttered Dan

"If you had not been jabbering about my personal business during your pillow talk with Miss Carr, I wouldn't be in this predicament," she said more sinisterly and held fast to the lapels on Dan's shirt.

"The only reason you are in this mess is because you created the mess. You hazed a teacher!"

"And the rumor turned out to be true. So what is your point exactly, Humphrey? You're going to help me get into Yale!"

Dan was livid. How dare this spoilt little madam storm into his house uninvited, accuse him of being responsible for her mess and then demanded that he fix it. He was sick and tired of rich kids, who scoffed at and misused opportunities made available to them. While those people who were more deserving did without.

He pushed Blair's hands away, stepped around her and walked towards the door.

"I don't owe you anything! Your know what your problem is Blair? You are a spoilt little tyrant who has to get her own way. This time your plot backfired and it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person! Yale is not the only college; I'm sure the Waldorf name and money can get you into another Ivy that could use a generous donation. Do a Rory Gilmore; get mommy and daddy to donate an astronomy tower in your honor. Goodbye Blair," finished an enraged Dan as he opened the door.

Blair stalked towards Dan, standing menacingly in front of him. "This conversation isn't over until I say it's over, cabbage patch!"

"Why? Because Blair Waldorf is the boss of everyone and controls what happens in _my_ house?"

"You think you know everything, you don't!" Blair's voice rose and was dangerously close to choking. "No college will touch me now, thanks to you and your precious Miss Carr. I had to beg Sarah Lawrence -- which isn't even Ivy League -- they refused to offer me admission!"

Dan willed himself not too feel sorry for her but he found his resolve breaking; he was a sucker for a sob story. He was shocked to hear that no other colleges would have her; it was a scary situation to find one's self in. His problems seemed minute compared to Blair's. At least he had options - just not enough money to go with the option he'd prefer.

Blair saw the pity in his eyes. She didn't need pity from the likes of Dan Humphrey and could do without it. Where was his pity when his precious pedophile of a teacher made her lose Yale?

She strengthened her resolve and snarled, "You are going to fix this, Humphrey."

"Don't be ridiculous, Blair! How exactly am I supposed to fix this? In case you haven't heard, my father can't pay my school tuition. Even if I gave up my place at Yale, there is no guarantee that they'd offer it to you!"

"This is where we differ - I'm intelligent and you're not. The only reason Serena got into Yale was because she was always in the papers, and Yale needed the publicity. That's exactly what I need to do."

"Getting into the papers shouldn't be too hard, Blair. You're a Waldorf. I don't see or understand what you need me for."

"Waldorfs are not socialites," she retorted in a matter of fact tone and tossed her nose in the air.

"I want all colleges to want me, Yale especially. I want them to beg for me. That's where you come in, cabbage patch." There was a dangerous gleam radiating from her eyes that Dan could not fathom.

"It's my belief that our story is what sets us apart from the masses. The more interesting and mysterious your story is the more people want to know about you. They want to associate themselves with you because they think that by association they can be you, or catch some of your radiance. And you, my dear pathetic excuse for a writer are going to write a series of amazing articles about me that will show Yale what they're missing. This will force them to make me an offer. We both win: I get Yale and the other Ivies bowing in subservience to me as it should be, and you get a portfolio and a decent amount of publicity that could lead to scholarships and job offers."

"And now that Charlie Trout is no longer available, you need a more worthy subject matter: me."

Dan was surprised; the idea wasn't half bad or half as evil as her usual plotting. It was a win-win situation - however a niggling thought prompted him to ask, "Blair, I'm not sure the New Yorker will even go for this. I don't exactly have pull there. However, I will speak to my contact, and find out if this is an angle they might be interested in pursuing."

"Leave the newspaper contacts to me, Humphrey. Your job is to write fascinating pieces about me. And that shouldn't be too hard…" Blair smirked as she walked out the door. "I'm Blair Waldorf."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – ****Channeling Richard Hottelet**

Blair had called last night and told him to meet her on the Met steps to convene and begin the execution of their plan. Unfortunately for her, Dan had other ideas.

He wasn't about to kowtow and give Blair Waldorf the upper hand. She may have guilt tripped him into this crazy scheme of hers but there was no way he was going to let her dictate everything. That was why he was at her house at seven am that morning.

As he came out of the elevator he bumped into Dorota; Dorota mentioned that Blair was still asleep and asked if he wanted to come upstairs with her to Blair's room as she was about to wake her up and beckoned for him to follow her.

Blair's bedroom was the way he remembered, satin sheets, pastel colors and fit for a princess. He noticed that Blair was still asleep and she wore a facemask to bed.

Normally, Dorota would not have let any guy but Nate upstairs; however Vanya the doorman at Serena's place talked a lot about Dan and spoke fondly of him. Vanya also mentioned that Dan was nice and encouraged him to read. This made Dorota develop a soft spot for Dan even though she didn't really know him.

So when he appeared through the elevator and said he was looking for Miss Blair, she told him to follow her upstairs.

Blair swatted her hands at Dorota in annoyance. She hated being disturbed when she slept and moaned as she ripped off her face mask from her eyes. Blair was taken aback to see Dan Humphrey standing in the doorway grinning at her.

"What the hell are you doing here, Brooklyn? Dorota, what did I tell you about uninvited guests?"

Dan continued to stare in amusement as he gesticulated between them and replied, "Remember your dastardly plan about me writing glowing pieces about you? Well, in order to do that, proximity is kind of a good thing."

"And I remember explicitly instructing you to meet me at the Met!"

"I thought about that and I don't think it's going to work. I need to observe you in your natural habitat in order to gain a proper understanding of what it means to be Blair Waldorf," Dan responded.

As Blair opened her mouth to respond in kind, Dorota impatiently dragged her out of bed, which caused Blair to shriek "Dorota!" in indignation.

Blair stood in the middle of the room dressed only in a black chemise that was mid-thigh in length, her displeasure showing on her face.

Dorota handed Blair her dressing gown and as she was about slip it on Blair, Blair noticed Dan trying hard not to look at her and failing miserably in his attempts to look elsewhere. Blair's face took on an impish nature and she decided against putting on her dressing gown, much to Dorota's chagrin.

Dorota noticed Dan's discomfort, and the look on Miss Blair's face meant trouble was about to ensue. This prompted her to suggest that it maybe Dan should leave the room for a bit while Blair was getting ready.

"Cabbage Patch can stay. After all, he needs a good glimpse in order get a good feel of what it means to be Blair Waldorf," Blair said in amusement. This morning was looking up after all, especially if it entailed making Humphrey uncomfortable Blair thought.

Dan stuttered something along the lines of, "Dorota's right," and practically ran out of the room. He was half way down the stairs when he heard Blair's laughter floating down mockingly from the bedroom. He shook his head as he descended the stairs and wondered who he had offended in a previous life to deserve being shackled to Blair Waldorf.

Dan sat in the foyer downstairs making notes about the morning events so far while he waited for Blair. He was so caught up in what he was doing that he didn't notice the activity around him until the sounds of footsteps coming from above caused him to look up.

Blair descended down the marble stairs, now fully dressed with a matching headband nestled between the strands of blond that looked foreign against her dark brown mane.

Blair walking down the stairs reminded Dan of someone approaching her court. Dan bent down and made a quick note of his observation.

After he had written it down, Dan raised his head and noticed that spread before him on a large golden tray with curved wooden handles was an array of food, such as: fruits, pastries, French toast, yoghurt, juice, and a teapot with matching cups and saucers.

Dan thought it was odd that he hadn't noticed or heard Dorota come downstairs to prepare the banquet before him.

Blair had finished walking down the stairs and was now sitting across from Dan on a cream chaise lounge engaged in some sort of argument with Dorota. He observed their exchange in fascination and amusement.

Dorota was trying to get Blair to eat something, Blair refused, and as a result some sort of warped banter ensued.

Dorota changed her strategy and began to plead with Blair to eat something, simultaneously she handed Dan a plate of pastries and a glass of orange juice. Blair stopped her banter with Dorota and glared at Dan; her face contorted in distaste.

Dan observed that her distaste was mainly fixated on the enthusiastic bites he bestowed on the croissant in his hand. He wondered what this had to do with their argument.

She continued to glare at him pointedly until her attention was directed at Eleanor, who had appeared out of nowhere and hovered over Blair on the chaise lounge. From where Dan was sitting, the scene in front of him reminded him of a female ogre about to pounce on its prey.

"Eat something, Blair!" berated Eleanor

Blair popped a single grape into her mouth pointedly and glared at her mother in defiance. Unfortunately for him, Eleanor chose that moment to ignore Blair and peered at him from above her glasses.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

She then added, "I see a uniform of some sort," and waved her fingers at him in a fashion similar to Karen Walker from _Will & Grace_.

"He's wearing a uniform from St. Judes, Mother," suggested Blair in an annoyed tone.

"No, that's not it," replied Eleanor thoughtfully as she tried to place him.

"He used to date Serena and his father is dating Lily Van Der Woodsen. You've probably seen him with Serena or at Lily's."

That seemed to cause a light bulb to flash in her head. Her glare increased in ferocity as she focused on him; Dan gulped in trepidation and came to a frightening conclusion that this was from whom Blair inherited her withering glare.

"You're that useless cater waiter from the Seder."

"Cater waiter?" queried Blair as she turned to look at him in bemusement. She then added a grin for full measure to ensure that he was aware that she was deriving pleasure from his discomfort.

"And to think that I paid you double what I normally would because you wanted to avoid Blair and I needed someone desperately. Instead what I got was you spending the entire evening holding hands with Serena and making me look incompetent in front of my mother-in-law!"

She turned to Blair and said "Are you sure he's Rufus's son?" Blair nodded at her mother and bit into her toast with gusto.

Eleanor looked him up and down disdainfully and repeated: "Are you sure he's Rufus's son? He looks nothing like Rufus. I mean…Rufus is gorgeous and he's…..Wait a minute, is he adopted?"

"That would explain a lot of things." Blair quipped. Eleanor gave him another once over from the top of her glasses and then walked to the elevator with Dorota in tow.

"Always a pleasure to be your bitch boy," muttered a shaken Dan to himself inaudibly.

After breakfast Dan and Blair left her house and walked to school. Dan was surprised that she agreed to walk with him, having pegged her as a female version of Chuck Bass. He was sure Blair was routinely dropped off at school by a chauffeur.

Blair walked in front of him while he tailed behind her. When they left her building Dan moved to walk beside her, but Blair explicitly expressed that she may be forced to call upon his services but she was not going to slum it by walking side by side with him. He rolled his eyes at her and sarcastically retorted, "Yes, your Highness."

To which Blair responded, "I'm glad we agree on something, Humphrey."

They arrived at the Met some minutes later. Blair's royal court of hair-bandits were already present at the steps. Dan watched as Blair ascended and sat on her throne at the top of the stairs.

Once sitted, Blair made a shooing motion at Nelly and Penelope. They responded by moving down to the next step below, thereby created an empty space between them and Blair. Blair beckoned for him to sit there. He did as he was bid, noticing all eyes were on him as he did so.

Someone voiced, "What is he doing here? I thought no boys were allowed?"

To which Blair replied, "None of your business! He is here because I say so."

Blair skillfully changed the conversation to their agenda for the day and they began to discuss their plans for that evening. People made suggestions but he noticed that everyone's idea was more or less refuted by Blair, except her own.

Blair's suggestion was they meet at her place at seven pm sharp for a pampering session (that would include mani-pedis), and then move the party to Butter afterwards. Headbands nodded in agreement to Blair's suggestion, then bent down and stored the appointment in their Blackberries.

The subject under discussion changed to boys and Penelope in particular was whispering something to the others that he could not make out. He strained to hear what was being said, but was interrupted by Blair clearing her throat loudly. He looked up at her from what he was doing and she said pointedly, "We are done here, Humphrey."

He wanted to argue with her that as the journalist he was in a better position to advise when he had enough material for his article when he noticed that most of the girls looked uncomfortable. Some were staring down at the steps shyly.

Dan came to a conclusion that there was some level of girl talk that he didn't need to be privy to. He picked up his messenger bag and, with his notebook in hand, left the Met steps.

After a week of shadowing Blair, Dan concluded that breakfast at Chez Waldorf-Rose was plain weird. He observed that they hardly had breakfast together as a family and the few times Eleanor made an appearance it was often to berate Blair about her eating habits which he found exasperating and confusing.

It was confusing because if Blair ate things like pastries or bread, Eleanor would be very vocal about her disdain.

The exasperating bit was that if Blair decided not to eat anything at all, Eleanor would scold her for not eating.

The Eleanor-Blair morning fight club was a conundrum to Dan; either she let the girl eat or leave her alone. If, as a spectator, he found Eleanor's messages confusing (and annoying), what must Blair be thinking? He also wondered what had Blair may have been suppressing all these years; because she never seemed to refute her mother's messages.

The mystifying thing about the mother-daughter breakfast exchanges was that he observed Blair doing the same thing to her minions. It was almost like a butterfly effect of some sort.

Breakfast at Blair's was a stark contrast to what he was used to. There was no banter, conversations, laughter or squabbles with family. It was very quiet; so quiet that you could almost hear a pin drop. Maybe it was a case of getting used to this way of life, but he couldn't shrug off the feeling that this had an eerie feel - comparable to eating breakfast in a mausoleum.

One day out of morbid curiosity (but more because he wanted to break the deafening silence), he asked Blair if breakfast always entailed her eating alone.

She responded defensively, "And your point is what exactly…?"

Breakfast with Blair became a regular occurrence after that. Initially he wondered if it was because he was a sucker for a damsel but he later attributed it to the fact that one must suffer for their art. He constantly reminded himself that if Richard Hottelet could spend four months in a Nazi prison then he could to do this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Dan Humphrey Must Die**

About two weeks into the agreement, Dan was sitting on one of the tables in the courtyard at school, flicking through his AP Literature books: _The Art of Courtly Love_ by _Andreas_ _Capellanus_ and _Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen,_ when a shrill and terrifying sounding "_Dan Humphrey!"_ permeated the atmosphere.

Dan shivered momentarily. He raised his head in alarm and looked around him nervously in an attempt to identify the source. He spotted a furious looking Blair Waldorf walking in his direction.

_This should be interesting,_ he mused sardonically.

"What the hell do you call this, Humphrey?" shrieked Blair, waving a bunch of papers in front of his face.

Dan stared at her in puzzlement and wondered what she was bleating about. Knowing her, it was bound to be another _chicken licken/little_ episode, starring Blair Waldorf.

Dan wasn't expecting what happened next. Maybe his face somehow conveyed what he had been thinking because Blair was hitting him repeatedly and violently with the pieces of paper in her hand.

"Enough with the hitting, Waldorf, what's your problem?" Dan said in an exasperated manner, as he grabbed Blair's hand midway, before she struck him with it again.

"What's my problem?" parroted Blair.

"Ok, enough, Waldorf! Just tell me what I supposedly did," replied Dan angrily as he rose up from the table. He stood up straight, towering over Blair.

"Let me read some of this back to you, shall I?" replied Blair angrily, looking down at the pieces of paper in her hand.

"First, the title, _Let Them Eat Cake?_ You compared my life to Marie Antoinette? But wait, it gets better. Who knew that you were such a giver, Humphrey?"

"_Blair Waldorf's daily life is a conundrum of intimidat__ed and under-appreciated servants; dealing with belligerent parents; plotting vendettas (against anyone who merely glances at her) and mani-pedis with the hair-banded mafia (or should that be minions?)_…"

Dan rolled his eyes at her, "I wrote the truth. Deal with it, Waldorf."

"The truth? _You wrote the truth_? Do you ever listen or think before you let out rubbish from your mouth?"

Serena appeared out of nowhere and stood next to both of them.

"Hey you two, what's going on?" asked Serena. "Look…everyone is staring. I think this conversation should be continued somewhere else, somewhere more private." added Serena, giving both of them pleading glances.

Dan and Blair nodded in agreement. With Blair's hand entwined in hers, Serena led the way, while Dan picked up his books first and then trailed behind them. They ended up in an empty classroom, shutting the door behind them to keep out prying eyes and ears.

"Ok, what happened out there?" asked Serena.

"Ask him," retorted Blair, giving Dan a dirty look.

"No, Waldorf, since you're the one who's supposedly wronged here, I think you should tell her."

"Ok, Punch and Judy, enough! Could one of you just tell me what's wrong? Please!"

Blair sighed and turned to face Serena, and with resignation in her voice said, "Ok, I might as well tell you. You're going to find out eventually when the first article hits the New York Times on Monday. Humphrey here will be writing a series of articles about me."

"You forgot to add that you bullied me into it," added Dan.

Serena looked at both on them in confusion.

Blair gave Dan another dirty look and said, "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Humphrey here will be writing a series of articles about me for the _New York Times_. He wrote his first article a few days ago and I have been reviewing it before we send it to the paper…"

"I don't understand. Why is Dan writing articles about you?" interrupted Serena.

"If you people could stop interrupting me, then I'd get to it!" retorted an exasperated Blair.

"Sorry Blair, do continue," replied Serena apologetically.

"The reason why Humphrey is writing articles about me is so that I can get positive publicity that would result in an offer from Yale. It worked for you. And I didn't bully this idiot into anything; I merely suggested that since it was his fault that his girlfriend got me into trouble with Yale, he owed me.

And what downer Dan forgot to add during his earlier diatribe, is that these articles are going to be in the _New York Times_ for a period of three months.

This means, he will not only be getting the attention of the New York Times, but it could potentially lead to an internship or even a scholarship for him."

"Is this true, Dan?"

"Aaah…something like that may have been mentioned."

"Ok, what I'm still failing to understand is, _what is the problem_?" asked Serena.

"The problem is this," responded Blair angrily pushing the papers in her hands into Serena's hands.

Serena took the papers from Blair and started to read its contents. A few seconds into reading the article, Serena looked up at Dan in shock.

"You compared Blair's life to Marie Antoinette's?"

"Read on S, it gets better."

Serena returned her attention to the article, her face aghast as she read on.

"Dan, how could you! You compared Blair's home life to a Nazi prison?" yelled Serena.

"Dan, this is mean! I can't believe you wrote this," she added more softly.

"I…I don't get what is mean about it. I basically…wrote what I observed."

"But you weren't being objective, like a journalist is supposed to be. You were being judgmental –"

"And not to mention downright condescending," Blair interjected.

"You let your personal views about Blair and the Upper East Side cloud your judgment," Serena continued. "Dan, you need to fix this."

Blair left where she was standing and stood in front of Dan, glaring at him menacingly (without blinking) and commanded, "Fix it!"

Blair shoved Dan out of the way and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Just fix it, ok." Serena looked at Dan wistfully, then handed him the papers and left the classroom.

Later that afternoon, Dan arrived home from school looking grim and fed up. He dumped his messenger bag on the floor and slumped into the armchair adjacent to Rufus' and let out a loud sigh.

"Woah, what's the problem?"

"The problem is a ninety five pound tyrant, going by the name of Blair Waldorf."

"What's she done now?"

"She exists," replied Dan, deadpan.

"Come on, Dan, that's a bit harsh. What happened?"

"Well, according to Blair and Serena, my article on Blair is not good enough. In fact it's down right condescending…aah…let's not forget judgmental."

"What article?"

Dan told Rufus about his and Blair's agreement.

"You'll be writing for the _New York Times_ for three months? That's great stuff Dan."

"Did you just miss the part where I mentioned that I'm going to be shackled to Blair Waldorf for three months?"

"Dan, I really don't see what the problem is. In fact, I think Blair is doing you a huge favor. How many kids your age, get to write articles for the _New York Times_ for three months?"

Dan shrugged offhandedly.

"I get what's in it for you, what I don't understand is, what is Blair getting out of this?"

"Serena…got noticed by Yale because she was always in the society pages. Blair wants to do something similar, but on a more serious note. Apparently, no colleges would accept her after the thing with Rachel."

"Right," Rufus responded in acknowledgement. "So…Blair and Serena are not happy about your article. Can I see the article?"

Dan picked up his bag from the floor and extracted the papers that Serena had handed to him and gave them to Rufus.

Rufus read through the papers and after a few minutes looked at Dan with raised eyebrows.

"Is that a…I'm proud of you eyebrow raise or I'm disappointed in you…eyebrow raise?"

"It's an 'I'm disappointed in you eyebrow raise'. Dan, I can't believe you wrote this. It's cruel!"

"I wrote what I observed about Blair's life," Dan said defensively.

"No Dan, you passed judgment on Blair's life. I don't know if you've noticed this, son, but you can be a bit judgmental at times." said Rufus sarcastically.

"So…"

The sound of the front door opening and closing stopped Dan's reply.

"What's going on? Are you guys having a family meeting without me?" asked Jenny.

Rufus looked at Dan asking for permission and said, "May I?"

"Sure…I could always do with another person telling me how condescending and judgmental I am."

Rufus looked at Dan wearyingly. Rufus stretched out his arms, handing the papers to Jenny, "Read this and tell us what you think."

"Ok, but what is it?"

"It's an article I wrote about Blair Waldorf," replied Dan.

"Why are you writing an article about Blair?" asked Jenny

Dan repeated to Jenny what he had just told Rufus earlier, explaining about the agreement with Blair.

"Wow, that's great Dan," said Jenny.

Jenny bent to read the papers in her hands. Like Rufus, Jenny read the paper for a few minutes and then raised her eyebrows at Dan pointedly.

"Dan, I may not be Blair's biggest fan, but this is mean! I can't believe you wrote this! I'm actually surprised that you're still alive. I guess that explains the story going around school about Blair yelling at you in the courtyard. You can't send this to the _New York Times_."

"Of course I can't, Blair won't let me."

"What I meant you big bone head, is that the article in its current state is not good enough. It only focuses on Blair's negative attributes. How would you like it, if someone wrote only about your negative attributes in the _New York Times_?"

"Talking about Dan's negative attributes, for example, you can be judgmental," added Rufus.

"A smartass", quipped Jenny enthusiastically.

"Sarcastic," added Rufus

"Annoying," chirped Jenny.

"Ok, ok, I get it, stop with the Dan bashing."

"Truth hurts, huh," said Jenny pointedly with a smirk on her face.

"Bite me, Jennifer!"

"_Children_, lets focus on the problem at hand," said Rufus with a warning tone. "Dan, what you need to do is to rewrite that article more objectively."

"Fine, I'll rewrite the article," agreed Dan reluctantly.

"Son, another thing I want you to remember when you are writing these articles, is that Blair is basically entrusting her future into your hands. You have nothing to lose if you mess this up, but she could lose her reputation not only with Yale but with the entire New York as well. It must have been incredibly difficult for Blair to come to you for help. So, when you are writing, I want you put yourself in her shoes, for example, you could do this by reflecting on how it felt to cater waiter at the Seder, okay?"

Dan nodded.

Jenny handed the papers back to Dan and said, "While you are at it, you need to call Blair and apologize for being a jerk."

Dan sighed, picked up his bag from the floor and stood up from the armchair, "I better go call her royal highness then."

"For a start you need to stop calling her names."

"It's a…a joke Dad!"

"I know it's a joke, but these are the kind of quips that unintentionally make their way into your article, thereby making your observation of Blair negative."

"Fine," Dan exclaimed in frustration, raising his hands in mock surrender as he made his way to his bedroom.

As Dan was about to shut his bedroom door behind him, he paused and said, "Thanks Dad, thanks Jenny. And Jenny, not a word of this to anyone at school, I don't need another episode of _Dan Humphrey must die_ from Blair Waldorf."

* * *

I chose New York Times as **the paper**, because they did an article on Blair during the Cotillion in Season 1

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – ****Tourniquet**

**Note: Bulimia is not a subject I know much about. I did some research on the internet and also used my knowledge of Anorexia to come up with what I have in this chapter.**

Blair had just got off the phone from speaking to her father; Daddy was still upset with her about the Miss Carr incident. He suggested that it might be a good idea if she summered in New York this year; they both had a lot to think about. He felt that allowing her to come to France would be sending the wrong message. He suggested that she needed to reflect on what she did, who she was becoming and the consequences of her actions.

Her mother and Cyrus were out at some society party, and Dorota had the night off. She tried calling Serena but her phone kept going to voicemail. Blair was all alone and she had no one to talk to.

Blair paced up and down her bedroom in agitation, while she was doing this, she spotted the basket of _Demarquette_ chocolates by her bedside table. Her father had them specially couriered from London a few weeks ago. She looked at the basket contemplatively and made up her mind.

Blair walked towards the basket in determination, shrugging off any inhibitions that may have stopped her and allowed _the need to feel better_ to take precedence in her mind.

The first piece of chocolate Blair bit into was sinfully delicious and she licked her fingers in appreciation afterwards. One piece of chocolate turned into another, then several more till she felt nausea sweeping over her painfully – she made no attempt to stop eating. Stopping would mean thinking, thinking would result in wallowing.

Blair's hand went into in the basket for the umpteenth time that evening and came back empty. She peered into the basket and discovered that it she had eaten an entire basket of chocolates.

Empty boxes of chocolates were littered everywhere.

A sick sense of foreboding pervaded her as she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. Blair could not comprehend what she saw in the mirror and blinked in an attempt to change it, but it was in vain. It was still there, mocking her, reminding her that she her that she was not good enough; no colleges wanted her; her relationship with Nate had lacked passion just like Chuck had predicted. Chuck, she didn't want to think about Chuck.

She was the real life Countess Olenska; with no future prospects, doomed relationships and a daddy that didn't seem to love her anymore. Why weren't things going according to plan? Why was everyone and everything out to get her?

Her eyes welled up with her eyes and slowly they rained down across her face.

Blair was desperate to restore some sort of order, she needed to regain control.

With determination and control as her watchword, she walked into the en-suite bathroom.

First, she retrieved bales of white towels from the cupboard underneath the sink, laid some of them down beneath the toilet bowl and then placed the rest on the sink counter.

Then, she picked up two toothbrushes from the toothbrush stand. She lathered the blue toothbrush with toothpaste and placed it by the sink. She then placed white toothbrush beside the blue one (almost parallel in fact) without any toothpaste.

Using the tissues next to the toothbrush stand, she wiped away at the evidence of tears and chocolate on her face hurriedly. She made a note to self to deal with the remaining tell tale signs of chocolate when she brushed her teeth.

Promises she made to Serena, Dorota, her mother and daddy flittered through her mind momentarily, but she pushed them away almost successfully. She began to meditate on a mantra that supported her action and it convinced her that they didn't really care about her anyway. Wasn't it an amazing coincidence that they were always missing in action when she desperately needed them?

Blair returned back to her bedroom and meticulously picked up all empty chocolate boxes. She folded them back into shape neatly and deposited them in the basket they came in.

Once all the boxes were in the basket she exited the room and made her way downstairs to the kitchen and deposited the basket into the main bin ensuring that it was completing hidden from view. Once that task was perfected to her satisfaction, she returned to her bedroom and inspected the room for any tell tale evidence of chocolate crumbs. Any crumbs spotted were meticulously swept up, deposited into the toilet and flushed down the drain.

Now that everything was in place she was ready for the final stage of her ritual.

Blair picked up the white toothbrush on the counter, walked to the toilet bowl and knelt in front of it. She used her left hand to steady herself against the toilet and with her right hand pushed the toothbrush into her throat until it hit the right spot on her larynx, emptying the contents of her stomach into the welcoming toilet bowl triumphantly.

Blair heard the scuffling of feet behind her and this caused her to pause what she was doing. She looked behind her to investigate the source of the disturbance; it was Dan Humphrey.

He stood next to the bathroom door with his mouth agape like a fish. His eyes flicked between her mouth and the toothbrush in her hand; a sense of realization regarding the scene before him was reflected on his face. Blair saw a look akin to pity in his eyes and was livid.

She didn't need his pity.

Blair thought to herself, _it was obvious that one had reached rock bottom when echelons of Brooklyn looked at you with pity. W_ith all the rage she could muster, she yelled at him to get out.

He left abruptly after that. She heard what she thought was the slam of her bedroom door and resumed her previous ministration.

A few minutes and some puking later, Blair reckoned fate was against her, and enjoyed dishing out cruelty her way. How else could one explain Humphrey hovering over her, patting her back and holding up her hair?

Blair called on all the anger left within her to push him away, but she found that she had no strength left. So she focused her attention on the final bile that poured out of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

She began to shiver and shake, which then morphed into tears - the wet and mucousy kind. Instead of pushing her away in disgust, Humphrey held her close, his chin resting on her shoulder, and his arms were around her waist – keeping her upright.

She calmed down eventually and then Humphrey used her current disposition as an opportunity to clean her up: first her nose, then her eyes and then the remaining tell tale signs of chocolate around her mouth. He also brushed her teeth and all she contributed to that action was to spit and rinse instinctively into the bathtub.

Blair felt extremely lethargic and could not move beyond her current location.

So, Humphrey sat her down on the bathroom floor, resting her back against the cupboard beneath the sink, while he cleaned away the mess in the toilet and the bathtub.

Dan was not sure whether to broach the subject of the event he just witnessed. So, after he finished cleaning up, he tentatively sat across from Blair and tried not to stare.

After a brief period of silently watching Blair staring at the floor and twiddling her thumbs, Dan decided to break the silence. He called on his past experiences with Blair for guidance on what to do next, as this was not a situation he was familiar or comfortable with.

"Was it Chuck?" he asked gently. Blair shook her head in response to his query. One by one, he called out the names of the people he associated with her like: Nate, Serena, Eleanor, Dorota and Cyrus, until he had exhausted all his options. The silence in the bathroom after that was so deafening that Dan felt suffocated.

"It's Daddy," she whispered after a while, almost close to tears again.

He didn't know much about her father except that he lived in France. Dan had only met Mr. Waldorf once, briefly, at the PTA meeting about him and Rachel. Blair was unpredictable; the last thing he wanted was to make her more upset than she already was, so decided to choose his words carefully.

"Sometimes I hate my Dad too," he said hesitantly.

Blair raised her head to look at him, arched her eyebrows weakly and retorted (though lacking her usual execution), "Please. You want me to believe that you -the epitome of every parent's wet dream - hates his father?"

Dan was pleased to see that what he said had revealed a small glimpse of the Blair that he was familiar with, so he continued:

"Actually hate is too strong a word; what I meant to say, is that sometimes I resent my Dad. Don't get me wrong, I love him, he's my best friend, but sometimes, I don't think he gets it. My Dad seems to think that by sending Jenny and I to private school, it will automatically make things better – you know, tick the right boxes and open the right doors. The truth is, it doesn't. Here I am, second in my class, yet I can't get a scholarship or financial aid to attend the college of my preference."

He paused for a little bit and then continued, "I resent the fact that all my life he fed me this pipe dream that all I needed to do was be the best, be a good person and things would automatically drop in my lap. I bought into the dream and for what? To become a cater waiter? The reality of my situation is, he can't afford to send me to Yale or Dartmouth and I will have to settle for NYU, which isn't the college of my dreams. Everything that I have worked so hard for seems so futile and a stark contrast to reality. The worst feeling to have is the feeling of being almost there; at least when you have nothing it's resolute and final. Almost there is like reaching the cusp of your struggle only to never overcome it"

"Another reason why I resent my Dad is, during the eighteen years he was married to my Mom, he was pining for someone else. His mistakes are affecting my life, they're affecting my relationship with Serena and there is nothing that I can do about it."

Blair stared back at him thoughtfully. Dan got up from the floor, stood in front of Blair, reached out for her hand to her and pulled her upright.

"What do you say to us getting some fresh air?" asked Dan. Blair nodded in agreement and with their hands interlaced, they exited the bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – That Scene From Roman Holiday**

**Note: I really don't know much about Vespas apart from the fact that I would like one. **

After the bathroom incident, the atmosphere between Dan and Blair was different; they seemed to come to some sort of unspoken truce. They also began to spend more time together.

Over the next few weeks, Dan learnt that the trick to Blair Waldorf was to let her rant and rave, and then once she calmed down; prod her gently about what had occurred.

It wasn't always easy, especially when her vitriol was directed at him, which was often. Dan was no saint and didn't always have the patience to sit it out, and in those situation he would he walk away, but he was getting better at the patience thing. He knew this, because the times they spent together were becoming more and more frequent and her acerbic comments became few or lacked the usual sting.

Another thing he'd noticed about Blair was that she could be extremely touchy-feely - but only if she initiated it. She regarded other people's attempts at touching her with suspicion and responded to it coldly or in rebuff.

Touchy-feely was definitely not an attribute he would have ever associated with Blair Waldorf - fire and brimstone would have been his initial metaphor choice.

One evening, he had been invited to her house for a movie marathon. He hadn't been sure what to expect but he definitely had not foreseen a marathon featuring only Audrey Hepburn.

As they sat together, he glanced between the movie on the screen and Blair.

She was in the middle of the bed, legs tucked under her and the sleeveless white sundress with blue flowered designs she wore created a curtain around her.

Blair had an excited look on her face because something interesting was happening on screen, and leaned across to grab his hand in anticipation.

She did this often; sometimes it was brief, sometimes it lingered. He had never seen this side of her before, so carefree and almost childlike in nature.

She laughed at something on screen and threw back her head in abandon.

The sudden movement made her hair bounce rhythmically across her back.

Dan smiled whimsically, and thought he had never heard or seen anything so beautiful.

After the film ended, Blair turned around to face Dan, hand on her chest and said breathlessly, "Wasn't that romantic?"

Dan grinned at her.

"So what do we do next? Should we go to Butter?" suggested Blair.

"Didn't we go to Butter a few days ago? I thought Upper East Side Princesses didn't like to be predictable."

Blair rolled her eyes at him and replied, "I could try to get us into Marquee? The owner owes Mom a favor."

"Actually, I think I have a better idea," said Dan with a hint of excitement.

"You do?" responded Blair arching her left eyebrow.

"Okay, hear me out. If you don't like it we'll go to the Marquee. It's obvious that you like Audrey Hepburn and Marie Antoinette," he said, glancing at the picture on the wall facing the right hand side of her bed. "However, I think we need a different perspective of you for our next article. Something fresh like…hanging out with the commoners."

"Poor Humpty Dumpty," she said in jest. "You really need to get over your upstairs-downstairs mentality."

"No, that's not what I meant," laughed Dan. "Listen, the thing that made Princess Diana stand out from all the other members of the royal family, was her ability to get her hands dirty; her ability to find common ground with her subjects. We need to show you doing something similar for our next article."

Blair looked at him in confusion, obviously not getting his point.

"It's like Princess Ann in _Roman Holiday_. What made the film so interesting was the fact that she got out of her comfort zone and took a stab at doing every day things. It turned out to be the most fun she ever had in her life."

"She nearly got swindled in the process," replied Blair sarcastically.

"That's not the point. Anyway, I thought you liked the movie? To quote you -_wasn't that romantic_." Dan crossed his arms, egging her on.

Blair rolled her eyes at him. Dan ignored her and continued, "The point I was trying to make is - what made _Roman Holiday_ great was the story about Princess Ann's adventure in a different, less restricting environment and her reactions to it."

"So what do you have in mind?" she asked, distrust evident in her voice.

"How about we hang out in Brooklyn for the rest of the evening? We could re-create that scene and ride down in a Vespa?"

"Brooklyn? A Vespa? You must be out of your mind!"

"Come on Blair, it'll be something different, something fun. Princess Ann did it and enjoyed it?"

"Hmm…ok, I'll do it. And not because of your lame attempts at convincing me, but because anything Audrey can do, so can I," she replied, sticking her nose up in the air.

"Cool," he said, rubbing his hands together. "Now I need to figure out where to find a Vespa for hire at this time of the night."

Dan called the first place he saw online, he had to drop the Waldorf name and offer to pay them extra as an incentive, so that they could lease and deliver a Vespa that late in the day.

Dan got off the phone pleased with himself. He turned to Blair and informed her that the scooter would be downstairs in about forty-five minutes.

He studied what she was wearing and suggested that she needed to change into something more comfortable.

"I think I look very lovely dressed the way I am."

"A sundress and a Vespa don't mix well together; your dress would get caught in something and you could end up hurting yourself."

Blair opened her mouth to say something, but Dan continued before she could get a word in.

"And before you say anything about Audrey wearing a skirt in the movie, may I remind you that they were on a set and I'm sure they had a stunt person do all the crazy scenes. I think…what you need is a pair of jeans, and probably boots too. I'd also put on jacket and gloves; it can get incredibly cold riding a bike at night."

"How very maternal of you Humphrey," Blair said sarcastically.

"I'm only thinking about your welfare, Waldorf."

Blair arched her eyebrow at Dan. "Fine." she said defeatedly, getting of the bed and walking into her closet and muttering to herself, _I can't believe I'm taking fashion advice from Dan Humphrey._

Blair wasn't sure what was appropriate for riding a Vespa to Brooklyn and asked Dan for help. A few minutes later, they ended up with - a pair of dark indigo, skinny jeans; a fitted blouse in sky blue; a red argyle sweater vest; a hip-length black leather jacket with matching leather boots and gloves.

Forty-five minutes later, Dan and Blair were outside her apartment building.

Dan and the rental guy inspected the Vespa delivered while Blair looked on impatiently. Once the inspection was finished, Dan signed some documents and the rental guy handed him the keys.

"I changed my mind. I don't think I want to ride that thing."

Dan rubbed her shoulder soothingly and said, "Seriously Blair, you'll be fine."

Once he was sure that she was reasonably placated, he led her to the Vespa.

First, he ensured that she was sitting (straddling it) comfortably, and then fastened a helmet on her head snugly. He paused momentarily expecting a wail about her hair and how she didn't look cute with a monstrosity on her head, but none came.

Dan sat in front of her and put on his helmet. He then turned the key in the ignition, pulled out the choke knob, and starting the Vespa. He let it warm up for about five minutes, then pushed the choke back in and let out the clutch level slowly.

"Hold on tight, Blair," warned Dan as he maneuvered the scooter out Blair's apartment block.

Blair wrapped her arms around Dan's waist tightly.

About twenty minutes later they crossed the Brooklyn Bridge. Dan felt Blair's chin on his shoulder. She let out a laugh as the wind blew in her face.

"Is that a laugh I hear, Waldorf? Are you actually having fun?"

"Just because you were right for once, doesn't give you license to be smug about it, Humphrey! Anyway, I don't know where you're taking me yet, so I'd hold off on the gloating if I were you."

"But we agree that right now you are having fun, right?"

"I'm sure it's just a fluke," she replied.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Chuck**

Chuck was leaning against the wall outside of school smoking a joint. He blew rings of smoke into the atmosphere; his chin jutted out in the air, as he lazily admired his handy work.

A recognizable tinkling laugh permeated the atmosphere, pulling Chuck out of the smoky haze. He pushed himself off the wall and scanned the crowd of students making their way into school.

Coming through the school gate were Blair and…Humphrey?

Humphrey was walking backwards facing Blair. He was talking and gesticulating simultaneously, and whatever he was saying had Blair in stitches.

_What the hell?_

As they approached the steps, Blair steadied Humphrey by grabbing his shoulders with both hands and turned him around to face forward.

Humphrey fell into step with Blair, shoulders and arm brushing against each other with familiarity as they climbed the steps. Humphrey continued whatever he was saying, gesticulating for effect, while Blair smiled in encouragement.

Chuck lost interest in his joint. He snuffed it out briskly against the wall, put the stub in his pocket for later and walked in Dan and Blair's direction. He stood in front of them, purposefully blocking their ascension up the stairs.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" remarked Chuck snidely.

Blair looked up at Chuck, staring him square in the eyes with a something akin to a sneer on her face.She made a grab for Humphrey's hand and tried to sidestep past Chuck.

Chuck was faster and stealthily blocked their escape.

"Slumming it with the dredges of society now, are we, Blair? I shouldn't be surprised; _slumming_ is the final destination for retired thoroughbreds after all."

Humphrey opened his mouth to say something, but Blair silenced him by tugging gently at his hand. Humphrey's other hand, the one not touching Blair's, balled into a fist.

Blair looked at Chuck in amusement, an unflinching smirk plastered on her face, in full glory. It unsettled Chuck; a self-assured Blair wasn't a viable plaything.

A goaded Blair would be easier to manipulate.

"Are you that desperate to be Serena that you're not below frolicking with her leftovers?"

Dan unclenched his fist, removed his hand out of Blair's and raised his hands to give Chuck a shove. Blair stopped him before he could carry it out by yelling his name in a warning tone and putting a hand on his arm.

Chuck was getting irritated by the frequency and familiarity of Blair touching Humphrey.

Blair focused her attention back on Chuck, but instead of the anger he'd anticipated the smirk was still resident.

Blair spared Chuck one last look, it was dismissive. She turned to Humphrey and said, "He's pathetic. Don't stoop to his level."

Tugging at Humphrey's hand a final time, Blair and Dan sidestepped Chuck and walked away, shoulders and arms brushing against each other.

Chuck watched their departure in disbelief; he wasn't through with her yet.

Later that day, Chuck accosted Blair in the girls' hallway during one of her free periods, when he was sure she would be alone.

He grabbed Blair's arm from behind, as she put away books in her locker and dragged her to an alcove.

"What do you think you are doing, you Bass-hole?! Let go of me," demanded Blair.

"What do you think you are playing at with Humphrey?" asked Chuck, dropping his hold on Blair. "Humphrey is not who you think he is…"

"You don't get a say with regards to who I hang out with Chuck. Last time I checked, you weren't my boyfriend, neither am I your wife!"

She gave him a disgusted look and continued, "In fact, you mean nothing to me. I hardly deem you an acquaintance, let alone a friend."

"Do you say three words, eight letters to acquaintances?"

"Call that a temporary delusion."

Chuck stared at Blair in disbelief and thought, _fine, if that's how you want to play it, Waldorf._

"Let me warn you as a _mere_ _acquaintance_ who's known you since kindergarten. Humphrey is not whom he says he is. He pretends to care so that he can get information out of you for his stories."

Blair regarded Chuck in disbelief and then burst out laughing.

"I can't belief this, you're jealous! Off all the Bass-inine things you've done Chuck, this is really pushing it. Dan is _my friend_ and a _human being_; unlike some people."

"He's gotten you -"

"Stop it, Chuck! You don't get a right to be jealous of whom my friends are!

You gave away that right when you made it clear that you didn't want me in your life. You know what, I'm convinced that you don't like seeing me happy because whenever I seem to move on with my life, you come and ruin everything like you always do! I don't want to listen to what you have to say anymore. Stay away from me and stay away from my friends!"

Without giving him another look, Blair turned around and stalked off in the direction of her locker, leaving a fuming Chuck in her wake.

Later that day after school, Chuck barged into Serena's room. Serena was sitting on the bed flicking through a magazine; she looked up at the intrusion and groaned, "Chuck, what have I told you about coming into my room uninvited?"

"No time for niceties, sis. We have an emergency!"

"Huh?"

"Let me explain - did you know that Blair and Humphrey are hanging around each other? I know that she lost her marbles after losing Yale, but I didn't know it was that bad. We need to stage another intervention."

Serena scoffed.

Chuck looked at her in disbelief and said, "Don't you see the emergency of the situation, S?"

"Chuck, there is no emergency. Dan is writing articles about Blair, so they kinda need to hang around each other to do that, don't you think?" she replied sarcastically.

"Humphrey is a shark; we can't let him near Blair - ."

"It was Blair's idea!" interjected Serena. "And from what I understand, Blair proof reads everything Dan writes before he submits it. Chuck, it's too late for you to be playing the jealous boyfriend. Look, Dan and Blair are finally playing nice with each other and I for one am happy that there's been no recent bloodshed.

Serena got off the bed and hustled Chuck out the door.

"Goodbye Chuck!" said Serena, shutting the door in Chuck's face.

"Don't come crying to me when he ruins her, S," shouted a disgruntled Chuck through the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Party Planning Conundrum**

The following Monday, Dan walked up the Met Steps to join Blair and Serena. Blair was eating yoghurt; to her left, sat Serena, nibbling on crudités she had just dipped into vinaigrette sauce.

"Hey," said Dan upon approaching them.

"Hey," replied Serena.

Blair put down the spoonful of yoghurt she was about to eat, gave Dan a curt look and then returned her attention back to what she was eating.

Dan looked between Blair and Serena and said, "What have I done now?"

"You know what you did," Blair snapped.

Dan looked at Serena, hoping that she could clue him in. Serena shrugged her shoulders, took another bite off the celery in her hand and gave him a look that seemed to imply _you are on your own, buddy_.

Dan sat beside Blair hesitantly, deliberating the potential repercussions of his action. However, he reckoned that not dealing with the supposed offence now could result in more harm than good.

He tried touching Blair's arm to get her attention, but she shrugged it off.

Dan looked perturbed, unsure what to do or say next. If he and Blair were alone, he may have tried other methods but at the moment he was grasping at straws.

_She can't be that mad at me, right?_ He reflected. Dan reckoned that if Blair was really mad at him, he wouldn't be allowed to sit beside her. Or maybe this was a deliberate ploy to make him feel comfortable so that she could pull the rug from under his feet.

"How's the article going?" asked Serena in an attempt to diffuse the tense atmosphere. "It must be going well, though…You two haven't killed each other yet," she added playfully.

Dan let out a laugh. Trust Serena to state the obvious.

"It's going well…I think?" he said uncertainly, glancing at Blair worriedly.

"Has Blair mentioned that she's having a party? I'm actually helping with the planning." He was hoping that mentioning the party, might draw Blair into the conversation.

Blair harrumphed. Dan deduced from the sound she made that whatever he did to upset her had something to do with the party.

Dan turned his attention to Blair and gently nudged her knee with his.

Blair continued to ignore him. He repeated this action a few times to no avail.

He hated when she was being stubborn.

Dan turned to face Blair; he placed his hand on her knee and whispered softly, "Whatever I did, I'm sorry. How can I fix it?"

From Dan's side view, he noticed Serena looking at them in bewilderment but he chose to ignore it and focused his attention on Blair.

"You were supposed to help me with the party and I'm stuck doing it by myself. It was your idea to have the party in the first place!" Blair accused.

"Hang on…You said that I was in charge of the music and I've done that."

"The food, venue, decorations, invitations, and drinks aren't going to organize themselves, Humphrey! Plus I have school to deal with!"

Dan wanted to roll his eyes at her remark but chose not to. He didn't want the silent treatment he had experienced a few minutes earlier prolonged - or worse, risk a dis-invite from the party. Who knew how long Blair was willing to drag this; he didn't think he could bear it for much longer, so he gave in.

"Ok…what else would you like me to help with?"

"Now that you mention it…" responded Blair gleefully as she retrieved a yellow colored folder from behind her that he hadn't noticed when he sat down.

Serena was now trying hard not to laugh. He looked at Serena in wonder. She was poorly trying to mask the look on her face that said _you poor sucker_.

"Why isn't Serena helping out?" asked Dan. If he was going down Serena was coming with him.

"I have a date," replied Serena

"A date only constitutes one evening," protested Dan.

"Blair thinks my services aren't good enough. Apparently you are the only one who understands how thoroughly she likes things done without her having to resort to murder," Serena responded tartly.

At that moment Dan realized that he had just been had. Blair had been very vocal when they started planning the party that she only wanted him to organize the band. Her words to him back then were something along the lines - _with an almost famous nineties rocker as a Dad, you shouldn't be mess this up. _He had expressed to Blair at the time that he thought she was taking on too much on herself.

The silly bint had tricked him. Now that Dan had admitted to an offence he had never committed, he was obliged to help Blair with whatever took her fancy, whether he liked it or not.

"Serena wasn't the person who encouraged me to have the party in the first place. BTW, I thought you needed an inside scoop for the next article, you can't get that from just organizing the band," said Blair, knocking him out of his reverie.

Serena stuck out her tongue at Dan in defiance.

"Very mature, Serena," said Dan.

Blair smacked his hand playfully and scolded, "Stop playing around with Serena and pay attention. Look at this setting, isn't it just perfect? We could put…." Blair was now prattling on excitedly.

Dan still couldn't get his head around how Blair could be angry one minute then excited in a matter of seconds.

Dan scooted closer to her. Blair did not move away nor did she glare at him.

He took that to mean that he was in her good books again.

He slung his arm casually over Blair's shoulders and looked at her with affection as she excitedly pointed at things in the folder.

His attention was temporarily shifted from Blair due to Serena making noise as she got up and put her things away.

Serena noticed Dan looking at her and said, "B, it looks like you and Dan have things covered here, so…I'll see you later?"

"Ok," replied Blair without looking up from the folder.

Dan said goodbye to Serena and returned his attention to Blair.

Serena picked up the last of her things and walked away from the steps. As she was leaving, she turned back to look at Dan and Blair.

They were sitting very close; if they were any closer they would be… Serena shook her head, refusing to acknowledge that particular train of thought.

It wasn't that Dan and Blair were doing anything wrong or deliberately excluding her; Serena just couldn't help feeling like an interloper. And if she was honest, she couldn't help feeling a little jealous too.

When had Dan and Blair become so chummy and comfortable with each other that they sat so close? When did Dan become one of the few people allowed to touch Blair? He had done it so casually.

The incident at the Met Steps was so permanently etched in Serena's mind that she found it difficult to concentrate all day. She abandoned getting ready for her date and decided to go to Blair's place to talk.

Blair was in her bedroom flicking through her folder and making lists on a piece of paper clipped to a brown clipboard (decorated with gold designs). Blair had on her task master face and was concentrating so deeply on what she was doing that she did not notice Serena's entrance.

"Hey," said Serena

"Hey S," replied Blair absentmindedly, still engrossed in what she was doing.

Serena perched at the end of the bed, "So…where's Dan? I thought he was helping you with the party planning."

"He's on his way. He went home to change and get his stuff. This could end up being an all-nighter."

"I see, so you are going to work him hard?"

"Everything has to be perfect and if that entails working Dan Humphrey like a mule, so be it."

Blair looked up and stared at Serena suspiciously. "What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be getting ready for your date?"

Serena sighed loudly. It made Blair stop what she was doing. She raised her head and looked at Serena impatiently.

"Whatever's on your mind S, spit it out. I have a party to plan."

Serena sighed again, drummed up some courage, and looked at Blair.

"Is there anything going on between you and Dan?"

"What?"

"Well, you two were so cozy at lunch and I…"

"Don't even try to finish that sentence. Are you insane? Please tell me that you have not been saying this in front of anyone - especially Chuck?

"Well, Chuck was the one who kinda hinted that something might be going on.

At first I ignored it, but then at lunch..."

"Seriously, S, why are you even listening to Chuck?"

Serena considered what Blair's comment, "You're right, what was I thinking." agreed Serena.

Serena looked up at the ceiling momentarily and recalled the scene during lunch again. She couldn't help the niggling feeling that pervaded her. She looked at Blair again.

"But…if there was something going on, you'd tell me right?"

"S, Dan and I are just friends. Since we started doing this article I've realized that he's not that bad. Hang on…were you jealous? Is that what this is about" asked Blair teasingly.

Serena shifted uncomfortably and looked away

Blair laughed, "You were jealous, oh my god! There is_ nothing _between Dan and me. I can hardly stand him half the time. I've had enough insinuations from Gossip Girl; I don't need it from my best friend as well."

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm still not ready to see Dan dating other people."

"You really are pathetic, S."

"I know…but it's Dan."

Blair rolled her eyes at Serena.

"So …I guess now that you and Dan are now friends, you've finally admitted that Dan has redeeming qualities," said Serena more cheerfully.

"I see what you are trying to do and it's not going to work. I refuse to be an enabler," said Blair, wagging her index finger at Serena

"What?" replied a confused Serena

"You are not inaugurating me into the Dan Humphrey fan club where we _um_ and _ah_ about his redeeming qualities."

Serena threw back her head and burst out laughing.

A knock on the door stopped Serena's laughter and she turned her head towards the door inquisitively.

"Hey Dan," greeted Serena.

"Hey Blair…Serena! What are you doing here; I thought you had…a date?"

"I do and I guess that's my cue to leave."

"Actually…you can stay and I can go on your date instead."

"Stop trying to get out of helping me, Humphrey, you promised," insisted Blair.

"Hmm…let me think…" said Dan with a hand on his chin. "I think…the word coerced is the more appropriate word concerning my participation."

"Whatever Humphrey, come sit here let me show you what I've done so far," responded Blair, patting at the space beside her.

Dan dropped his messenger bag, walked towards Blair and sat beside her. He put his arm around Blair, resting his hand on the bed for leverage.

Blair shoved her list under his nose, started explaining animatedly as she simultaneously flicked through her folder with her other hand. Dan smiled at Blair encouragingly.

Serena stared at them befuddled and internalized - _did they have to sit that close to each other? There is hardly any space between them_. And then, there was the current location of Dan's hand -

Serena shook her head and admonished herself internally. _I really have to stop listening to Chuck_.

Serena stood up from the bed and said, "Bye guys, hope there's no bloodshed."

They both looked up at Serena, Dan smiled and said goodbye while Blair made a sad faceat Serena.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – The Insider**

The following Saturday morning, Dan was on the phone with Blair talking about the party, when the conversation moved on to what Dan was going to wear.

"Dan, I hope you have your outfit ready?"

"How hard is it to dress like Gregory Peck in _Roman Holiday_?" replied Dan sarcastically.

"In your case, Dan, the answer would be _extremely_ hard. Do you have your outfit ready? I want an answer."

"Why does it feel like by answering your question, I'll be walking into a trap?"

"Do or do you not have your outfit ready?"

"I was thinking of throwing something together on the day, probably one of my suits and a shirt will be fine."

"You'll probably put something together on the day?" repeated Blair incredulously. "Humphrey, if you think for one second that I'm going to let you put some crap together last minute so that you can embarrass me, think again!"

"How am I embarrassing you? They're my clothes."

"My point exactly"

"Huh?" replied a confused Dan.

"I'm talking to an idiot," said Blair.

"Waldorf, I'm this close to ending _this_ call you subjected me to at _eight am_ on a Saturday morning," said Dan warningly.

"I'm coming over."

"What?"

"There is no point talking to you on the phone, so I'm coming over to inspect your outfit options and chose something that won't embarrass me."

The phone went dead. Dan palmed his forehead at the thought of what was about to occur.

About thirty minutes later, the bell to the loft chimed, announcing Blair's arrival. Dan walked out of his room to get the door but Jenny beat him to it.

Jenny stared at Blair in surprise. "_Blair_?"

Blair pushed Jenny out of the way and stalked towards Dan.

"I want to see them," she ordered.

Dan ushered her into his room, but as he about to follow her in, Jenny stopped him and asked, "What's Blair doing here?"

"She's here to torture me," groaned Dan

Jenny opened her mouth to ask Dan another question but Blair's yell from Dan's bedroom prevented her from saying anything else.

"I haven't got all day, Humphrey!"

Dan smiled at Jenny apologetically and walked into his room, shutting the door behind him.

"Where are your clothes? Show me."

Dan rolled his eyes, praying that this would be over as quickly as possible.

He led Blair to his wardrobe; Blair pushed him aside and began to rifle through his things. She then dumped clothes on the bed, one after another; wrinkling her nose, she said, "These should be burnt."

Dan poked his face over Blair's shoulder and saw that she had emptied his entire wardrobe with the exception of his school uniforms.

"Blair, you've left me with hardly any clothes."

"You should be thanking me, Humphrey. Where are the rest of your clothes?"

"Why? I thought this torture was about picking out my clothes for the party?"

"You are a walking fashion disaster. It's my friendly duty to save you."

Dan, shocked, said, "We're friends?"

"Yes, Dorothy, we are friends," parroted Blair sarcastically.

Dan pointed to his chest of drawers. "Don't go through the top drawer."

"Is that where you stash your porn?" mocked Blair with an arched eyebrow.

"What? No…my…underwear…is in there," Dan answered, obviously embarrassed.

"Spare me the blushes; I've seen men's underwear before."

"Yes, but you haven't seen my underwear before," Dan replied sheepishly.

Blair laughed, "Do you even know anything about girls, Humphrey? I wonder how you ever got a date. Girls are not like guys; we don't swoon or have fantasies as a result of seeing male underwear."

Blair stood in front of the chest of drawers, ransacking drawer after drawer, and throwing Dan's things on the bed.

"You're hopeless," she exclaimed. "You have no decent clothes at all. How is this possible? You have a fashion designer as a sister. We're going shopping; you need an entire new wardrobe."

"I can't afford a new wardrobe. Remember, I can't afford tuition fees."

"Oh please, but you can afford cabs between my house and Brooklyn?"

"Blair, I can't exactly afford the kind of stores that you visit!"

"Fine, I'll debase myself and visit _your _kind of shops instead. But, I'm getting the clothes you're wearing to my party. I won't have you looking cheap standing next to me."

"As her Highness wishes," replied Dan with a mock bow.

Blair hurried out of the apartment with Dan in tow and as he turned to shut the main door, he yelled, "Jenny, I'm going out, I'll see you later."

Dan walked behind a determined Blair through various racks of menswear in Bergdorf's. Dan was carrying loads of carefully-chosen clothes Blair had picked for him.

Blair picked out a burgundy leather jacket and pushed it at him. "Try this on."

"Blair, this is a leather jacket, it has nothing to do with my outfit for the party."

"I know, humor me."

Dan hung the clothes he was holding on an empty rack first and then tried on the jacket. Blair stood in front of him, adjusting the jacket. She tugged at its lapels and murmured, "Much better." She then shoved him gently in front of a mirror.

Dan stared at his reflection in surprise; the jacket looked amazing on him. It reminded him of _James Dean in_ _Rebel with a Cause_ or maybe it was more like_ Marlon Brando in the Wild One._

"So what do you think?"

"I like it, I think I might get it," replied Dan as he looked at the price tag hanging off the jacket's cuff.

"_Two thousand dollars_!" Dan cried in alarm, "That's ridiculous!"

"I'll get it for you."

"No! I'm not letting you buy me a _two thousand dollar jacket,_ Blair!"

"Consider it an early Christmas present."

"Blair, it's June. Kinda early, don't you think?"

"Not really, if you consider the fact that I might hate you by Christmas."

Dan opened his mouth to respond but Blair shushed him. "There is no room for argument, Humphrey, I'm getting it. Take off that jacket and go and try on those other clothes. We need to get out of here quickly if we want to have enough time to visit your stores of preference."

Dan arrived home later that evening laden with bags and was accompanied by Blair's chauffeur, who was also carrying loads of bags.

Jenny was in the living room watching TV when they came in. She stared at them in surprise.

"What did you do, rob a bank?" asked Jenny.

"No, I allowed myself to be bullied into going shopping with an insane Blair Waldorf."

Dan put his bags on the sofa and beckoned the chauffer to do the same. He thanked the chauffer and escorted him out of the loft. On Dan's return, he saw Jenny rifling through his bags.

"Jenny, take your nose out of my bags."

Jenny laughed, "So Dan, coming home with a chauffeur now? Wait till Vanessa hears about this."

"I didn't have a choice; Blair wouldn't let me take a cab back. Apparently, I'm saving for her Christmas present."

"Christmas present in June?"

"She bought me an early Christmas present, so I have to buy her a Christmas present."

"Why would Blair buy you a Christmas present in June, I don't get it?"

Dan pulled one of the Bergdorf' bags towards him and brought out the leather jacket.

"Blair bought me this amazing but overpriced leather jacket despite my protestations. _She said to consider it an early present_."

"I still don't get it, why would Blair buy you an early Christmas present?"

"I'm don't understand it either, Blair Waldorf's logic baffles me too."

"So…let me see the jacket on you," said Jenny enthusiastically.

Dan tried on the jacket and stood in front of Jenny with out-stretched arms.

"Wow Dan, it looks amazing on you. Blair has great taste."

Dan sighed and said, "I'm not sure how much she spent in total today, but I'm sure it's a lot. I don't feel comfortable wearing a _two thousand dollar jacket_.

Do you think people can tell how much it cost by looking at it? Should I be afraid of getting mugged?"

Jenny opened her mouth in shock and then closed it again.

"Do you know what this means, Dan?"

"I could get mugged on the street of Brooklyn wearing this jacket?"

"Not that, you doofus. This means that you're in."

"In what?"

"In with Blair!"

"I'm not in anywhere."

"Dan, take it from someone who desperately tried to be in with Blair, _you're in_. Blair never came to this house to visit me and neither did she take me shopping. She gave me her old clothes, but I never got a Christmas present, let alone an early one."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – Too Far Gone and Elements of Voodoo**

Vanessa and Dan were in a coffee shop in Brooklyn catching up the following Saturday morning, but the constant chiming of Dan's phone kept interrupting their conversation.

Each time this happened, Dan's attention was focused on his phone.

He spent several minutes texting back and forth to whoever it was and he had a permanent grin on his face whilst doing so.

Vanessa was bored watching Dan and his newfound attachment to his phone.

She nudged him gently under the table with her foot in order to get his attention. Dan raised his head from what he was doing and apologized to Vanessa.

"Who have you been texting?" she asked curiously.

"Ooh…it's just…Blair," replied Dan hesitantly.

"Blair?" she said in amazement.

"Yeah, we're…I don't know…we're sort of friends now? We've been hanging out because I'm…well, I'm writing some articles about her," said Dan carefully, reluctant to tell Vanessa about the past few weeks.

"Articles? Why would you ever want to write articles about Blair?"

"Remember…I mentioned to you months ago that I was writing some articles to help me get me noticed…you know, for scholarships and stuff."

"I don't get why you can't go and get a student loan like everybody else. Why are you writing about her anyway, why not Serena? At least she's been in the papers."

"Serena would be an overkill; she's in the papers so much already. You know what…I don't want to argue about this…Can we just change the subject?" replied Dan uncomfortably.

"So…what does Queen Blair want?"

"I am helping her organize a party. It seems the decorators bailed and Blair is going crazy."

"A party? You're helping Blair organize a party?" Her disbelief was written all over her face.

"Yeah," he said, with a grin on his face like it was a normal occurrence for Dan Humphrey to be organizing a party with Blair Waldorf.

"Actually it's a themed party. We decided to go with the theme 'All the world's a stage,'" he added, still concentrating on the text his was sending.

"Nice theme," Vanessa said with a touch of sarcasm. "I didn't know that Bendel's and Bergdorf's were into Shakespeare!"

"I came up with the theme actually," he replied, grinning at Vanessa.

"So…when's the party?

"Next Friday."

"Since you're on the planning committee or whatever, any chance you could sneak me in? I want to film a sequel to my documentary on the young, rich and privileged."

"Vanessa…you're…kind of…not invited," Dan said uncomfortably as he raised his head to look at her.

Vanessa was taken aback by the direct rejection; it was alien hearing it come out of Dan's mouth and it almost seemed as if he were parroting someone else. Vanessa's disappointment was etched on her face.

"Are you telling me that you're now okay with people who socially ostracize others and apply the velvet rope?" Vanessa asked angrily.

"No one is being ostracized, per se. It's just…Blair explicitly stated that you weren't allowed to come. You know…it's her party, she has the right to say… who's invited."

Vanessa made a face at Dan, rested her elbow on the table, and replied, "I see…It seems like you're telling me that Blair's right to choose takes precedence over your best friend? May I remind you that this is the same person who used me as part of her twisted little game with Chuck?"

"She only did that because you blackmailed her first."

Vanessa recoiled. Blair had gotten to him and she couldn't believe he could be so gullible. She also couldn't believe he was taking Blair's words over his best friend's.

"So you're taking her side now?" asked Vanessa, voice rising.

"I'm not…I'm not taking sides at all. What I'm trying to say is that…whatever you or Blair did to each other is irrelevant because you're even."

Dan saw the dismayed look on Vanessa's face and reasoned, "You blackmailed her first and in retaliation she and Chuck toyed with you. You bagged Nate, then she bagged Nate and then you slept with…Chuck. In my opinion that kinda makes you even. And what it boils down to, is that, you and Blair don't like each other and as a result she is justified in saying that you are not invited to her party."

Vanessa was dumbstruck. How could Dan sit there and take sides with that Upper East Side witch? She needed to remind him of who Blair was and what she was capable of.

"Before you get too comfortable 'hanging out,'" she said, using air quotes, "with the Upper East Side princess, remember that this is Blair Waldorf. The same Blair Waldorf who lied to the whole school about you sleeping with a teacher and she won't hesitate to sell you out again when it suits her."

"I am well aware of who Blair Waldorf is, Vanessa."

Vanessa was about to issue a retort when she spotted a limousine parking outside the coffee shop. Blair Waldorf stepped out of the car, phone in hand, typing away enthusiastically with what looked like a smile on her face. As she wondered what Blair was doing in Brooklyn, Dan's phone began to chime again and he bent down to read his text. Whatever he read made him look behind him and out of the window. Blair waved at window and Dan waved back.

_What the hell?_ thought Vanessa.

"V, I'm sorry, I have to go. Maybe we can hook up later and talk?" Dan said with a concerned look on his face as he stood up. Vanessa nodded in agreement but gave him a perplexed look. Dan was oblivious to her, clearly in a hurry to leave the café. He gave her a final smile and walked out of the coffee shop.

Vanessa watched him through the window as he stood next to Blair; Blair was still busy texting so Dan gave her a friendly nudge. Blair finally looked up and saw him. She smiled at him in recognition at first and then her lips began to move. Vanessa could not make out what Blair was saying but from Dan's body language and the bitchy look on Blair's face, Vanessa could tell that Blair was telling him off. When Blair finished talking, Dan said something to her and gestured at the coffee shop. Blair turned around and met Vanessa eyes for the first time that afternoon. From the look on Blair's face, Vanessa could tell she was not pleased to see her.

Dan leaned towards Blair (too closely in Vanessa's opinion) and whispered something in her ear. Vanessa wondered what he said to Blair and hoped it was something in her defense because, Blair was hitting him.

Dan seemed to find Blair hitting him funny and laughed as Blair swatted at him. Blair finally stopped and tugged at his lapels. She murmured something to him and he stopped laughing. He put his arm across her shoulder, said something in return, and led her to the waiting vehicle.

Vanessa continued to look out through the window in disbelief long after the limousine had left.

What she had just witnessed confounded her. _What_ _kind of voodoo spell does Blair Waldorf have Dan under?_

Vanessa said a silent prayer in her heart, hoping that Dan wasn't too far gone.

Vanessa's mind spun with a thousand questions and most of them were pontificated by _what_, _why_ and _how_. Two questions in particular lingered – _How did this happen_? _Are they more than friends? _

Not that Dan and Blair had done anything specific to make her think something was going on, however, it was just that…watching them felt a tad bit voyeuristic.

And what's with the arm around the shoulder and lapel touching anyway?

Vanessa decided with determination that she was going to have firm words with Dan about his border on inappropriate reporter-subject relations with Blair Waldorf. She had to nip it in the bud before it escalated into something that could damage their fragile universe.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 - All The World Is A Stage**

**Note: This scene is an additional nod to the film **_**Roman Holiday**_**. **_**An**__**Evening in Roma**_** by Dean Martin plays during the party scene - check out this video at ****.com/watch?v=5X6kHbJNwQE****to get the song reference**

The "_All The World Is A Stage" _partywas in full swing. People were merry and having a good time, champagne was popping and the atmosphere was brimming with eclectic intensity.

Dan and Blair were on the dance floor in a close embrace swaying slowly in time to Dean Martin's _An Evening in Roma_. Dan was talking animatedly while Blair was laughing at whatever he was saying.

Chuck leaned against the bar observing Dan and Blair coolly as he sipped champagne. Chuck mentally kicked himself for not making enough effort to nip this charade in the bud when he had first discovered their budding friendship.

That was because he hadn't expected it would go anywhere; everyone knew Humphrey Dumpty had no game.

Dan and Blair coming to the party dressed as characters from one of Blair's favorite movies had changed the _stakes_. Chuck scrunched up his face in disgust as he took in Humphrey dressed as Gregory Peck. Blair was dressed as Audrey Hepburn's character in the opening scene of the movie; Chuck thought she had never looked more beautiful.

Chuck pushed himself off the bar, standing upright. He put down the now empty champagne flute on the bar and made his way to the dance floor towards Dan and Blair. On the way there, Chuck arrogantly gave himself self-assured pep talks - he was Humphrey Bogart to her Audrey Hepburn in _Sabrina, _and getting rid of Humphrey shouldn't be a problem. Blair had told him that she loved him; this should be an easy _ante up_ situation.

Chuck stopped beside them. "Humphrey, get lost, I want to dance with Blair." Chuck then caught Blair's eyes and said softly, "May I say that you look particularly enchanting tonight".

"Go away. Chuck. Can't you see that I'm dancing with my date?"

"You mean your pity date; a queen should be seen with a king like Bogart and not some penniless photographer looking to make a fast buck."

"This is real life, Chuck, and this queen prefers the penniless photographer."

Blair stopped dancing, grabbed Dan's hand and moved to another part of the dance floor where they continued dancing.

As Chuck contemplated following after them, he spotted Serena and her date at the other side of the bar and decided to join them instead.

"Hello, Sis," said Chuck; he nodded at Serena's date Jeremy (a sophomore at Columbia) in recognition.

"What do you want, Chuck?" said an irritated Serena.

Chuck slid close to Serena; he leaned against the bar and spoke in Serena's ear in a conspiratorial manner so that Jeremy couldn't over hear what he had to say to Serena.

"Haven't times changed, Sis, it seems your little stray has found himself a new home."

"Huh?" replied Serena in confusion. "Chuck, you're not making sense."

Chuck motioned to the dance floor with his chin, in the direction of where Dan and Blair were dancing.

Serena rolled her eyes and turned to face Chuck. "That's what you do at a party; you dance with your date!" Serena replied sardonically.

"There is dancing and there is _dancing_. Look, there's hardly any space between them."

Serena rolled her eyes once more and shoved Chuck hard, causing him to lose his balance momentarily, "Go and bother someone else, Chuck."

Chuck adjusted his suit and sniffed. Giving Serena a backward glance, he said, "This is the second time I've warned you, S. There won't be a third." Chuck stalked away in a different direction in search of Nate.

The party came to an end around three am. Dan, Blair, Jenny, Serena and Jeremy walked out of the venue talking excitedly about what an enjoyable night it had been. Blair was slightly tipsy, so Dan had to hold her around the waist to steady her movements.

"Blair, you are drunk."

"Point of correction, S - I'm mildly inebriated. Anyway, I can be as mildly inebriated as I like; my party was a success and there were millions of paparazzi in attendance to capture it." Blair stuck out her chin in defiance.

"Blair, it was a wonderful party, I'm so proud of you." Serena's date nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Blair, your party was awesome," chirped in Jenny

"Our party was a success, right, Humphrey?" stressed Blair, ruffling Dan's hair playfully.

Serena gave them a funny look, and said, "This is us," as they approached her limo.

"Bye B," said Serena, hugging Blair as much as she could with Dan still holding on to her. She hugged Dan and Jenny as well and then got into the limo with Jeremy.

Dan walked Blair to her limo, and made sure she got in the vehicle and seated upright without hurting herself. As he was about to shut the door, Blair asked, "How are you getting home?"

"We're going to get a cab."

"No, you're not! I'll get the driver to take you home. No taxi for you, Humphrey, especially when my Christmas present is at stake," Blair scolded Dan, wagging her index finger at him.

Dan looked at Jenny, who shrugged in response. Dan ushered Jenny into the limo and she sat across from Blair, while Dan sat beside Blair.

As the vehicle drove away into the glittering lights of Manhattan at night, Blair interlaced her hand with Dan's, placing both hands on her lap. She then began to hum _A Night In Roma_ softly, swaying her head from side to side.

Jenny looked at the entwined hands on Blair's lap and gave Dan a pointed look, which he chose to ignore. He didn't understand what the big deal was. He and Blair were friends and friends where sometimes affectionate with each other.

"Someone's in a good mood. I guess that's because _someone's_ drunk," quipped Dan, turning his head to look at Blair. Jenny giggled, cupping both hands over her mouth.

"My party was a success and every New York paper worth its weight in gold will be talking about it tomorrow. I'm allowed to be happy," replied Blair, jutting her chin out in defiance.

"You did good tonight, Waldorf," said Dan.

"No, **we** did good tonight, Humphrey."

"Eeww, is this going to be a long ride consisting of the Dan and Blair appreciation club? If it is, can someone throw me out of the limo?"

"You lucky I'm tired, Little J, or I would have made your request a reality," replied Blair resting her head on Dan's shoulder.

Jenny gave Dan another look, which he promptly ignored. He was tired of the insinuations, why couldn't people (and Gossip Girl) get it into their heads that he and Blair were just friends.

When they arrived at Blair's, Dan told Jenny and the chauffeur that he was going to help Blair upstairs and would be back soon.

Dan helped Blair into the penthouse. When they got to the stairwell, a pouty Blair decided that it'd be fun to recreate the scene from Roman Holiday where Gregory Peck carried Audrey upstairs and tucked her into bed.

After a few minutes of debating about it, Dan decided to give into Blair's demands. Not because he wanted to, but because he wanted to hurry up. He'd been in the house for a while now, and was keeping Jenny and the chauffer waiting.

When he got to Blair's bedroom, he pulled back the covers andlaid her on the bed,then turned around to leave the room. Blair protested loudly, demanding that he come back and finish the scene properly.

Dan rolled his eyes at her and wondered how long she was going to drag this out for.

He lifted her to sitting position, removed her tiara and placed it on the bedside table. He then unzipped her dress, got Blair to raise her hands and lift her hips slightly so that he could pull the dress off. Blair was left wearing her light turquoise chemise underneath.

Dan walked away from the bed and laid Blair's dress on the adjacent arm chair. Blair berated him about leaving her dress out to get wrinkled and demanded that he hang the dress in her closet.

Dan muttered something about Blair being too tired to do everything else but not tired enough to boss him around.

Dan picked up the dress and hung it in Blair's closet, clearly disgruntled.

He walked back to the bed to tuck her in quickly so that he could leave.

Blair protested that he had to hug her first. Dan rolled his eyes in exasperation, walked over to the bed intending to give her a quick hug, but Blair had other ideas and engulfed him a tight hug.

Dan moved away gently, breaking the hug slightly, and Blair used that as an opportunity to plant a kiss on his lips. Dan eyes opened wide in shock.

"Good night, Dan, and thank you for everything," Blair said sweetly.

Before Dan could reply or process what happened, Blair had snuggled under the duvet, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.

Dan touched his lips in amazement and replied, "Goodnight, Blair."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – ****The Sliver**

Dan and Blair were in Blair's room after school, a few days after the party.

They were sitting on the bed, resting on the headboard with papers and books in disarray in front of them.

"So are you going to help me with my AP Literature assignment or what?" asked Blair in exasperation.

There was no reply from Dan; he seemed spaced out.

"You're doing that thing where you space out and don't pay attention to me," exclaimed a frustrated Blair.

"What?" Asked a befuddled Dan

"What's going on with you? You've been acting weird since the party."

Dan looked disappointed; he couldn't believe Blair didn't remember what had happened.

"You mean you don't remember?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be asking!"

Dan looked away from her, musing on how to jog Blair's memory without getting his head bitten off.

"I haven't got all day, spit it out."

He looked at Blair and said hesitantly, "We…kissed."

"We what?" replied Blair in amazement.

"We…we kissed."

"Ooh," gasped Blair. "I thought that was a dream."

"You dream about me?"

"Not the point here," responded Blair, giving him a scathing look. "So we kissed, big deal," she said in a dismissive fashion

"Big deal? Blair, it was magical moment, it was like a… a scene out of a movie."

Blair rolled her eyes at him. "Are you going to break into a song and dance like Eliza in _My Fair Lady_?" Blair teased.

"Mock me all you want, it doesn't change the fact that we kissed and it was… hot."

"I was drunk and there was also the buzz from the party, in my state I probably would have kissed a toad."

Dan looked aghast; his eyes widening and practically popping out of their sockets.

"Did you just equate me and a toad in the same sentence? I'm hurt, Waldorf." Dan crossed his hand over his chest in mock annoyance.

"Aww, does Daniel want a hug?"

Dan looked at Blair incredulously, he was trying to keep a straight face, but the mocking expression on her face forced him break into a smile.

"Darn!" growled Dan, slinking into the headboard defeatedly. "You make it really hard to stay mad at you"

"That because I'm fabulous," Blair responded with her nose in the air.

Dan shook his head in disbelief and smiled at her.

Blair gave him a playful shove, "So…are you gonna help me or what?"

It was the following day.

Blair in particular, was in an exuberant mood. She had received _the call_ from Dean Berube earlier that day. Yale had finally come begging.

Blair was in the mood to celebrate and made plans to meet everyone at Bijoux that evening. She made alternative plans with Dan, he was coming over to the penthouse first and they would leave for the club together.

She was putting finishing touches to her make up when repeated taps on her door broke her concentration. It was Dan, looking dapper in the leather jacket she got him.

"Hey," said Dan walking into the room.

"Hey, I'm nearly done."

Blair applied the final coat of lipstick and stood up. She was dressed in a brown halter neck dress made out of silk. The dress had a diamante encrusted sash sewn into it; it nestled against Blair's hips accentuating her figure.

Dan was mesmerized.

Blair was walking towards him, her hips swayed from side to side and as a result, the diamante caught the light, causing the sash to sparkle.

"So what do you think" asked Blair, twirling round.

As she twirled round, Dan noticed that the dress was backless. The exposed skin (that came into view) went all the way down her back and stopped at her bottom. Dan bit down on his bottom lip gently as he gazed at her in fascination.

"You're doing that thing where you space out and don't pay attention to me," exclaimed a pouty Blair.

Dan shook his heard to break out of his reverie, "what…oh sorry."

He moved a bit closer and caught her hands in his in attempt to appease her.

"I was paying attention; I was just taken by surprise at how stunning you look in that dress," he drawled, giving her another appreciative glance.

"I do?" she asked unsure and then her face quickly changed, "Of course I do".

They stood there for a while, holding hands and smiling at each other, Dan's comment had unconsciously changed the atmosphere in the room.

What happened next took Blair by surprise.

One minute she and Dan were smiling at each other and then he removed one of the hands holding in hers, and caressed her cheek. She didn't really pay mind to the touch because; she assumed it was a friendly gesture or form of affection.

And then he kissed her.

Blair's body stiffened in shock at the unexpected assault.

She couldn't to breathe.

Blair parted her lips in attempt to gasp for air but it was in vain. Dan took her parted lips as an invitation to intensify the kiss.

Blair tried desperately to collect her thoughts and extricate herself from the embrace.

She lost all train of thought when Dan's hand left her face, and gently traveled down the curve of her back in stroking motion; leaving a tingling sensation in its wake and then came to a stop at the juncture where her hips met her back.

All thoughts of extricating herself escaped her. All that came to mind was that, Dan Humphrey had a very dangerous mouth and a killer touch.

Slowly, he moved his hands to rest on her hips, pulling her body closer to his.

Blair cupped his face with both hands and kissed him back in reckless abandon; taking their tempo up a notch. His stubble brushed against her chin in a teasing fashion in the process.

Dan's hands changed position slightly, moving up from her hips to encircle her waist. His fingers lightly grazed the small of her back (where it dipped into her dress) along the way, causing her to shiver and purr in sweet surrender.

Blair shut her eyes, letting the feelings consume her senses; and as it did, it gradually sent her body into a state of bliss.

Dan's hands moved from her waist and covered hers.

Dan couldn't breathe and temporarily broke off the kiss to get some air into his lungs; the disruption made Blair moan in protest.

They stared at one another in amazement as they desperately tried to catch their breath.

In a split second, the emotion on Blair's face changed.

"Get your hands off me!"

Dan removed his hands immediately; his pulse began to race in erratically.

Blair moved back a little, creating some space between them.

"How dare you?" she screeched, shoving him hard in the chest. Subconsciously Dan walked backwards, almost losing his balance in the process.

"Just because I lowered myself to associate with you, does not give you license to maul me!"

Dan opened his mouth to say something.

"Save it Humphrey, I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Consider yourself dismissed!"

She gave him a venomous look, turned around and walked back into the room, her dress swaying with the rhythm of her hips.

As Dan turned to leave, Blair's voice halted him in his tracks.

"Humphrey, if you tell anyone what happened here tonight, I'm going to make you wish you've never been born."

Dan bent down his head in defeat and let out a sigh, and slinked out of the room.

* * *

This was the hardest chapter to write and entailed alot of rewrites as I'm not comfortable with love scenes. However this scene was integral to the story, so I had to keep writing until I got it right. I hope I did it justice.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – Crisis Talks**

The next day, Dan decided to brave breakfast at Blair's. He was hoping to get an opportunity to speak to her, so that he could apologize for yesterday.

As Dan exited the elevator and walked into the hallway. Blair was descending down the stairs. On spotting him, she stopped and looked at him disdainfully.

"What part of 'you're dismissed' didn't you understand?"

"Blair, please hear me out," Dan said pleadingly

"I don't want to listen to anything you have to say."

Blair finished her descent down the stairs, walked past him into the main living area.

She sat down on the chaise lounge and crossed one leg behind the other delicately.

Dan ran after her and made to sit on the blue armchair opposite the chaise.

"Only my friends are allowed to have breakfast with me" Blair said coldly, "and you're not one of them."

Dan sighed, feeling crushed. He didn't know what else to do, so he turned around and began to walk back towards the elevator.

"Who have you told about last night?" she asked

Dan stopped and turned to look at her. "No one! I'm not suicidal, Blair."

"I'm glad we understand each other, you can go now," dismissed Blair with a wave.

He snuck a longing look at Blair; he hadn't expected that things would come to this point. She was never going to speak to him again, and the thought of it, hurt so much.

Dan stood still for a bit, contemplating whether to do as Blair had ordered. At the same time, he pondered Blair's question, _Who have you told about last night?_ Did that mean that last night was going to be a secret? If she wasn't publicizing it, maybe he might have a chance of getting back into her good books.

Praying that he wasn't further signing his death warrant, he turned around and walked towards her.

Blair glanced up from her breakfast and arched her eyebrow at him in disbelief.

Standing close to the chaise Dan said, "Blair, I can't leave knowing that you are mad at me."

"Well…there's a first time for everything."

"Look, I don't know what came over me last night. What I do know, is that, I didn't mean to do it. I'm really sorry. And to show you how sorry I am, I'm willing to do anything to get things back to normal between us."

Blair perked up, "Anything?" she asked with gleam in her eyes.

"Well…maybe…maybe not anything."

"You either willing to do anything or willing to do nothing. How much does my forgiveness mean to you?"

Dan sighed and shrugged his shoulders in surrender; he really didn't care what she wanted in return, he just wanted things to go back to the way they were.

"Sure, whatever you want."

Blair studied his face in deep concentration and then said, "I guess you can join me for breakfast."

"Really, so…does that mean you believe me?" Dan asked cautiously.

"I guess," she sighed.

Dan removed his messenger bag and dropped it on the blue sofa, and then he sat down facing Blair across the coffee table.

Blair was watching him with an amused expression as she popped a raisin into her mouth.

"Now that I think about it, it was only natural that you reacted the way you did last night."

Dan looked at her with suspicion, wondering if he had walked into a trap.

"I'm absolutely stunning after all," she shrugged. "So it's understandable that you couldn't control yourself. It's now dawned on me that you're clearly unstable and must be going through some sort of crisis."

"Crisis?" parroted a confused Dan.

"Yes Dan, crisis. The first stage to recovery is admitting you have a problem."

Dan smiled as he realized that this was Blair's way of telling him he was forgiven and decided to play along. "Ooh crisis. I…I need all the help I can get."

"Of course you do, you're useless. Now that we've established that you are going through a crisis, it's my friendly duty to help you transition through this."

Dorota walked in that precise moment, visibly taken aback to see Dan sitting across from Blair.

"Mr. Dan, I thought you were no longer joining us for breakfast.

Blair scowled at Dorota.

"Hey Dorota. I thought I'd been banned for life too. It seems I have been pardoned…I think?" Dan said uncertainly, looking at Blair.

"Things change, get with the times Dorota," Blair chastised

Dorota touched Dan lightly on the shoulder, "I tell cook to prepare your favorite pancakes."

Dan smiled at Dorota in appreciation.

"You two are disgusting," said Blair scrunching her nose disdainfully at both of them.

Dan and Dorota turned to look at Blair in amusement. Dorota left the room and walked back in the direction of the kitchen.

"I didn't realize your crisis was that bad, Dan. Flirting with Dorota? Next thing you know, you'll be taking her on Vespa rides around town," Blair teased

Dan grinned at her, pleased that things were back to normal.

He picked up an apple from the breakfast tray and bit into it enthusiastically, the juice from the apple lending a sheen to his lips.

The sheen on his lips grabbed Blair's attention.

_I never realized how pink __his lips are_.

She watched as he took bite after bite, and became fascinated with the way his lips caressed the apple's red skin just before it bit into its edible flesh. Subconsciously, she began recall how his lips felt against hers and how - .

Blair was snapped out of that train of thought as a result of Dan calling out her name.

"What?" she answered a bit harshly.

"Have I got something on my teeth?"

"Not really. I am just taken aback by the fact that after all the time you've spent with me; you still have the most appalling table manners."

* * *

Later that day in the school courtyard, Dan was accosted by Chuck as he (Dan) attempted to make his way through the double doors.

"Humphrey, we need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you. Now will you get out of my way so that I can get to class? Some of us are not teenage billionaires who don't need an education."

"Whatever class you have can wait, this is more important," Chuck said menacingly, grabbing Dan's arm.

"Let go, Chuck," replied Dan with a warning tone in his voice. He glanced around them wearyingly. It seemed that their exchange was gathering interest.

"I'll let you go, if you agree to talk."

"Fine!"

"I'm glad you always see reason."

"So, talk."

"What I have to say to you needs a bit of privacy; follow me." Chuck moved past Dan and walked through the double doors into the school hallway.

Dan rolled his eyes and followed him into an empty classroom.

Chuck stood with his arms folded across his chest, studying Dan with an amused glint in his eyes. He then added his trademark smirk for a more dramatic effect.

"Are you going to say anything or are we just going to have a stare-down?" asked Dan impatiently.

"Foolish Humpty Dumpty trying to play with the big boys," replied an amused Chuck as he advanced towards Dan. "You think you are so smart, don't you, Humphrey?"

"Are you going to get this over with any time soon, Chuck? I have things to do."

Chuck put his right hand into his jacket's inner breast pocket and pulled out some photos. He dropped photos on the desk beside Dan.

Dan picked them up and began to flick through them.

He glanced at a few photos, what he saw caused him to pause in shock. He looked at Chuck and questioned, "You had us followed?"

"I prefer to call it looking after my investment."

All the photos were shots of him and Blair. Most of them were from last Friday's party, some where from their shopping trip, some outside the café in Brooklyn and others were images of them hanging out in various locations.

There was nothing incriminating about the photos, just that they looked very intimate; _too intimate_. Until that moment, Dan hadn't been aware that he spent a lot of his time with Blair or how frequently they touched one another or how they often stood in close proximity of one another other - gosh were they always this cozy around each other?

If Dan were an outsider looking at these photos, he'd think that they were a couple. It began to slowly dawn to him that maybe yesterday and the night of the party may not have been as unexpected as he had thought.

He placed the photos back gently on the desk and looked at Chuck.

"What do you want, Chuck?"

"I want you to end this little charade between you and Blair."

"Charade? Blair and I are friends. Not that you'd know what friendship is, since your idea of friendship is sleeping with your best friend's girlfriend."

"Friends?" said Chuck with laughter in his voice. "Is that what she told you? Humphrey, you deserve a prize for your idiocy. Waldorfs don't mingle with dredges of society, especially ones from Brooklyn. You're just a pawn in her little game to get into Yale, and to get me to tell her I love her."

"Oh please!" said Dan

"Oh please what, Humphrey? You've been writing a few measly articles about Blair for a few months and you suddenly think you know her?" laughed Chuck incredulously.

"I've known Blair since kindergarten. I also know her better than you do; she and I are very alike. I bet she made you feel special, didn't she? You're no different from the Lord Marcus's, Vanessas' and Carter Baiziens' of the world. You're all part of our little game. If I where you, I'd save myself the embarrassment and cut off all ties now, before it's too late." Chuck added with a smirk.

Vanessa's warning echoed in Dan's head, _she won't hesitate to sell you out again when it suits her._

Dan began to recall the events of the past few days and thought, what kind of friend told another that, - _I lowered myself to associate with you_ or _Humphrey you are dismissed_.

Why would she kiss him like that and then behaved like he had assaulted her.

She was probably stringing him along this morning as well and was probably going to use her advantage to entrap him at a later stage.

Chuck was right.

Blair didn't need him anymore, she had Yale.

The impact of Chuck's words in addition to the thoughts swimming through his mind caused Dan's face to loose all of its color.

_My work here is done_, Chuck thought, congratulating himself.

Chuck picked up his photos, put them back in his pocket and walked out of the classroom leaving an ashen Dan in his wake.

Dan stood there for a while, still in shock.

A few minutes later, a grim looking Dan walked out of the classroom into the boys' hallway. As he approached his locker, he spotted Blair walking down the corridor in his direction.

_Great__,_ he internalized sardonically, _just whom I wanted to see_.

"Dan, what are you doing out here, I thought you had class?"

"I would get to my class, if you people stopped bothering me," he muttered to himself.

"Did you say something?"

Dan shook his heard and stood in front of his locker. He opened it and began rummaging through, searching for his books.

Blair came to a stop beside him and leaned against the locker adjacent to his.

"Seeing that you are here, I have something to discuss with you." Blair said with a smile akin to her plotting smile on her face.

Dan stopped what he was doing and looked at her in trepidation, the conversation with Chuck was still a focal point in his head and he was scared of what she was about to say.

"I have the perfect solution to your crisis situation," Blair said clasping her hands together in front of her chest gleefully. "After school, you're coming to my house, and we are going to compile a list of suitable candidates and find you a date," said Blair in a conspiratorial manner. "Dorota is spoken for so you can cross her off that list," teased Blair.

Dan snorted and muttered, "don't do me any favors Waldorf."

"Huh?" replied a confused Blair. "You're acting weirder than usual, what's wrong? We're friends, you can tell me anything," Blair added softly laying a hand on his arm. "Is it the crisis? We can go talk somewhere more private" Blair whispered.

Dan shrugged off her arm and looked at her coldly, "I don't need you to do me any favors Waldorf, in fact I don't need anything from you at all!"

"Excuse me?"

"Look Blair, let's stop kidding ourselves. We're not friends, we're not _anything_. Since the final article this due this week, let's stop the charade, and go back to the way things used to be."

"Let me remind you Humphrey, that you are on probation; another strike from you and you are out," hissed Blair.

"Then let me save you the effort, strike, I'm out!"

Dan took out some books from his locker, slammed it shut and walked away without looking back.

Blair stood there frozen as she watched his departure and thought; _you've got to be kidding me_.

She looked around furtively, checking to see if anyone had witnessed their exchange. She noted with relief that the hallway was empty.

Blair turned and walked away in the direction of the girls' hallway, heading for the girls' lavatory to compose herself after the unexpected onslaught from Dan.

In the girls' lavatory, Blair stood in front of the sink, carefully studying her reflection in the mirror.

She couldn't make sense of what just happened. Blair reflected on the events at breakfast this morning and wondered if his apology had been a set up alluding to this. Could it be that she had been gullible and underestimated him?

_He didn't even look back,_ she thought disappointedly.

Blair pushed her emotions down; she took a final glance at her image in the mirror, and decided that Dan Humphrey was dead to her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – V for Vendetta**

It was the following day and Blair was furious. Dan had walked past her, deliberately bowing his head so that he wouldn't make any eye contact with her.

What made Blair furious was the fact that he did it in public. People like Iz and Penelope were now asking her inane questions snidely.

_How dare he embarrass her in public again?_

Instead of responding to the inane questions posed by Iz and Penelope, Blair decided to take matters into her own hands the way she knew best - revenge via Gossip Girl.

Blair sent a text to Gossip Girl hinting that something valuable of hers (an expensive brooch from her father) went missing a few days ago and that Dan Humphrey was the likely culprit. Maybe it's in the Humphrey blood, everyone knew about Little J and missing Valentino. Maybe Lonely boy was desperate for college tuition fees. Whoever found the brooch would eternally be in Blair's favor.

Gossip Girl to Blair's pleasure issued an APB on Dan. All Blair had to do was sit back, relax and let other people do the dirty work.

A few hours later, Blair walked down the boys' hallway, making a beeline for Dan's locker. His locker had been jacked open and he was on his knees trying to pick up his meager belongings from the floor.

Blair slowed down on approaching Dan's locker and stood right in front of him. Dan stopped what he was doing and looked up at her with something akin to a horrified look on his face. Blair smiled at him gleefully, taking pleasure in his discomfort.

Blair then kicked his things into further disarray with her two-tone patent Louboutins. She almost let out a giggle at the sight of him scampering around trying to pick up his belongings. Blair gave him a withering glare and walked away in the direction she came.

Once Dan had picked up his things, he stuffed as much as he could carry in his bag and left the rest in his locker. He then rushed out of school in an attempt to circumvent any further torture that might be on the menu, courtesy of Blair Waldorf. It was painful enough seeing Blair after what happened yesterday without having to deal with this on top of it.

Dan was deep in thought wondering how he could convince his Dad to let him miss the last few weeks of high school when an unexpected hand on his shoulder startled him.

"God Dan, panic much?" said Jenny in jest.

"If you had the day that I did, so would you," replied Dan wearily as he continued walking.

"So…what did you do to Blair?" said Jenny

_Trust Jenny to be straightforward_, thought Dan.

"What makes you think I did anything?"

"Hmm…let's see, the ABP for your head is a start. Everyone in school is avoiding you like a plague. Not that that's anything new."

Dan made a face at her and continued to look straight ahead.

"So…?" asked Jenny, nudging his shoulders gently.

Dan smiled grimly. He couldn't tell anyone what had happened, Jenny in particular. He didn't want things getting back to Gossip Girl or Blair.

Most importantly, Blair would physically kill him. Or, more likely, send someone to assassinate him. Blair wasn't the type to get her hands dirty.

"Who knows with Blair," he replied after the prolonged silence.

"I don't get it, though. You guys have been like Siamese twins for months now."

Dan shrugged with indifference.

Dan and Jenny walked into the loft some minutes later; Rufus was in an armchair and looked up from strumming his guitar.

"Why the glum face, Dan?" asked Rufus.

"Nothing, Dad," replied Dan.

"Blair Waldorf's got an APB out on Dan," chimed in Jenny.

"Thanks, Jenny," replied Dan sarcastically.

"What?" said Jenny innocently. "You want me to lie to our father?"

"And you decided to chose today of all days to be a model daughter."

"What's this I hear about an APB? I thought you and Blair were joined at the hip," asked a confused Rufus.

"That's what I said," said Jenny gleefully.

Dan looked between his Dad and sister and shook his head exasperatedly, "I don't want to talk about it."

"I thought you said there was nothing to talk about?" questioned Jenny suspiciously.

"Exactly what I said, nothing to talk about," Dan responded through his teeth.

Dan stalked past Jenny in the direction of his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. The slam echoed throughout the loft.

Rufus and Jenny looked at each other in surprise and simultaneously said, "That was weird."

A few hours later, Rufus poked his head through Dan's bedroom door.

"You coming out to eat? Your dinner is getting cold."

"Put it in the fridge. I'll have it later," grumbled Dan.

Rufus entered Dan's room, shutting the door behind him. He leaned back against the door, looking at Dan with concern.

"Son, are you okay? You've locked yourself in here for a long time, I'm worried about you."

"Is Jenny home?"

"She left for Lily's about an hour ago. Why do you ask? Has this got anything to do with Jenny?"

"No, I just don't want anything getting to Eric or Gossip Girl."

"So what's going on? Is this about Blair?"

Dan looked at Rufus in acquiescence.

"Blair and I kissed. Actually…we kissed twice."

"Okay…but I don't see how that's a problem."

"I was kind of a jerk about things afterwards…hence the vendetta."

"I see…So did you mean the awful things you said to her?"

Dan shook his head.

"Then why did you say them?"

"I panicked! Since the first time we kissed, I have been feeling all these alien emotions. When I tried to talk to her about it, she told me to forget about the kiss, so I did. But then we kissed again and she went ballistic and wouldn't talk to me. And then we made up again and she started talking about setting me up with someone…"Dan sighed. "I didn't know where I stood with her. And then Chuck made some insinuations...I kinda lost it after that. So, I decided to reject her before she could reject me. And…there's also the Serena thing to factor into the equation."

"Okay…but, in the three months that you guys have been hanging out, before the kisses…and Chuck, did Blair ever behave in a way that would make you confused about where you stood with her?"

"No, but…"

"Son…I think you're making excuses so that you wouldn't have to face up to your feelings. The past few months, you've been the happiest I've seen you in a long time, and you never seemed unsure of your friendship with Blair after the initial hurdle, so why the confusion now?"

Dan didn't know what to say to that.

"Dan, it's ok to be sacred. I think Blair was probably scared to, hence the talk about setting you up. What you need to do is talk Serena about this new development; she deserves to know. Most importantly, take it from an old man who knows about missed opportunities - you are young, seize the moment and tell Blair how you feel," Rufus added.

"What if she says no?"

"What is she says yes?"

"Dad, you're forgetting the fact that she wants my head on a platter."

"Dan, you're forgetting what you've been doing the last few months. You know what makes her tick now. You shouldn't have a problem getting your message across."

Dan pondered what Rufus said. "Thanks Dad, I think I have an idea of what to do."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – To Kill A Mocking Bird**

_The Following Monday Morning__, _

_Gossip Girl Blast_

_Good morning, Upper Ea__st Siders. You must be wondering why I'm up so early on this faithful Monday morning. Call it an early morning miracle. I went to church to sing "Hallelujah" now that Lonely Boy's foray into journalism has finally come to a tragic end. _

_But enough about that….the hot piece of gossip is __that lonely boy has a thing for Upper East Side girls (and the occasional faculty member). The interesting thing about his latest crush is that it has the capacity to literarily blow the door down. _

_Who is it, you ask? It seems that the friendship between Lonely Boy and a certain Queen B is not as pure as they'd like everyone to believe (As I've been hinting for months)._

_I don't know about you, but what I'm dying know is, are his feelings reciprocated? What does S think about this new development? You know what they say S, friends that share together stay together._

Blair stared at her phone aghast after reading the blast and Dan's article respectively. How could he do this her? How could he embarrass her like that, leaving her exposed to the whole world?

She was going to strangle him when she got her hands on him. First, she needed to get out of the girl's lavatory. She wasn't in a good frame of mind to face the knowing looks and pointing fingers. She needed space and privacy to re-strategize.

This was supposed to be her day of crowing glory, the day everything re-aligned perfectly. Dan Humphrey was a dead man.

Blair chastised herself for not proof reading the article before Dan sent it.

She hadn't bothered to ask him about it like she normally would have done and he hadn't bothered to send it to her either. They had been avoiding each other - correction, he had been avoiding her while she wanted his head on a platter.

Blair walked out of school, looking around her in a surreptious manner, hoping not to be spotted. Upon arriving outside, she hailed a cab and went home.

Later that day, Blair sat on her bed flicking through the latest edition of Vogue. The sound of her bedroom door opening caused her to stop what she was doing and look up.

Blair was taken aback to see Serena standing in her doorway. She had given Dorota explicit instructions not to let anyone into the penthouse. She was going to have sterns words with that woman after this.

"Serena," said Blair sweetly. "I told Dorota not to let anyone in, I'm think I have swine flu, you better leave or you might catch something." Blair made a show of coughing delicately.

Serena did not respond and she didn't offer Blair any words of sympathy. She looked pissed as she advanced towards the bed.

"Blair, what is the meaning of this?" asked Serena menacingly as she pushed her phone under Blair's nose.

Blair glanced at the phone briefly and saw the opening remarks of Dan's article. She pushed the phone away callously and stared at Serena in defiance.

"Do you want to tell me why you stormed into my bedroom uninvited?" Blair snapped back angrily.

"Blair, I trusted you. I asked you if there was anything going between you and Dan, and you told me, to my face, that nothing was going on!" said Serena raising, her voice.

"That's because there is nothing going on! You're obviously deranged."

"Really, I'm deranged?" asked Serena incredulously, "So why is my ex-boyfriend practically waxing lyrical in the **New York Times** about how he feels about you?"

Blair shrugged nonchalantly. "Who knows? Humphrey probably got dropped on the head as a baby and has a few screws loose."

"Are you listening to yourself, B?"

"What I'm listening to is you bleating into my ear about things that don't exist. I've had enough of this asinine conversation, you know way out," Blair responded in a deadpan manner, motioning to the door with her eyes.

"You know what B, I'm not going anywhere; not until you tell me the truth." Serena folded her arms across her chest defiantly.

"S, you're boring me. I have better things to do with my time. If you want to stand around looking like an idiot, feel free to do that in your own time."

"I repeat, what is going on between you and Dan?"

"Nothing! Or are you deaf as well as stupid?"

"There's obviously something going on. Today's article is one example of that and the other, is the way you two have been carrying on the past few months."

"Please, like I'd want your low rent leftovers."

"You didn't think he was my low rent leftovers when you two were "hanging out" together, practically everyday; or when you were all _cozy_ and _touchy-feely_ towards each other. And let's not forget your behavior at the party," replied Serena sardonically.

"You're obviously delusional. Are you back on drugs again?"

"Blair! I'm not doing this with you again!"

Blair rolled her eyes and regarded Serena like she was stupid.

"I'm not going to sit back and let you pretend that you are in a movie, so that you can ignore parts of your life that don't fit into your perfect plan. This time I'm not leaving until I get the truth out of you, especially as it concerns me."

"How does this concern you? You two are not even dating anymore?" retorted Blair

"So, we're finally getting somewhere," realized Serena.

Blair scowled at Serena. And then she switched her attention back to Vogue magazine in front of her; flicking through its pages one by one, deliberately ignoring Serena.

"Uh-uh," scolded Serena as she snatched away the magazine from Blair.

"Give it back."

"Only if you tell me the truth!"

"What are you like, twelve?"

"At least I'm honest with myself; I don't pretend my life's a fairytale, so that I don't have to deal with my problems. What's it going to be, Blair? The truth or the magazine gets it," Serena threatened putting her hands in position to rip the cover and the first few pages of the magazine.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

Blair folded her arms across her chest and glared at Serena.

There was a few minutes of silence and then,

"This is all your fault! If you hadn't introduced that low rent hipster into our lives, **this** would never have happened!" Blair lashed out.

"My fault? How is exactly is my ex-boyfriend practically writing you a love letter for the whole of New York to see my fault, B? I wasn't exactly consulted when you two started cavorting around each other in the spirit of **writing articles**."

"Like you cavorted with my boyfriend behind my back?"

"You can't use that against me forever, Blair. I've apologized, you said you forgave me, it's over and done!"

Blair rolled her eyes at Serena derisively.

Serena was fed up, _Blair was too stubborn_ and they weren't getting anywhere. Instead they were running around in circles snarling at each other like wild animals. Serena sighed heavily; her face took on a more sympathetic expression.

"Blair, aren't you sick and tired all the drama? I know I am. All we seem to do, is fight?" Serena then added more softly, "B, I'm sorry that I burst into your room and confronted you aggressively, okay? I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth, even if it hurts. I promise not to judge or…get mad. So tell me, sister to sister, what is going on between you and Dan?"

Blair shifted uncomfortably and looked away from Serena.

Blair sighed deeply and snapped, "We kissed, twice. Satisfied?"

"You…you kissed?" replied Serena in disbelief.

"What happened to not judging?"

"Ok, I'm sorry, no judging."

They were both silent for a while, staring into space, letting what had been said sink in.

"So… do you…do you like him?" asked Serena looking at Blair

"I don't know," replied Blair still staring into space.

Blair sighed and continued, "I don't even know how we got to this place. After it happened, we agreed to put it behind us. I thought everything was back to normal and then Humphrey went psycho on me."

"Dan went psycho, what do you mean?"

"He said all these hurtful things to me, like, how we weren't friends, and everything was a charade and he was done – just like that, like our friendship meant nothing."

"So the APB on Dan from Gossip Girl…"

"Was payback," finished Blair.

"I see," said Serena.

They were both silent for a while, not looking at each other.

"I think Dan was probably a jerk because he was scared. Something or someone must have spooked him. Before he said all that stuff to you, did you say anything mean beforehand?"

"No, I was actually being nice. I offered to set him up with someone."

"Oh gosh, Blair!"

"What?"

"How would you like it, if someone you liked and _kissed_, decided to set you up with someone else?"

"I'd be more appreciative than Humphrey was, and, at least thank them for going through all the trouble."

Serena looked at Blair in amazement and shook her head; Blair's delusions on reality never ceased to amaze Serena.

"It's obvious Dan likes you; he told the whole of New York. If you like him then let him know. I'm sure you guys can work things out," said Serena with a softer tone to her voice.

"But what about the code of not dating your friend's ex?"

"B, for what it's worth, you have my blessing. Screw the code. We're sisters, right? What's mine is yours and vice versa."

"Do you know how gross that sounds?"

Serena paused, "Eww, now that you mention it."

Blair covered her face with her hands and shrieked in mortification," I must be in hell! I'm taking lessons on how to court Dan Humphrey!"

"Well, that's what happens when you develop low rent tastes," teased Serena.

"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you, S?"

"Making you squirm is way more fun!"

"So, how come you're so okay about everything? If it that was me, I'd make you sweat for it."

"I'm not, not really. It still hurts a little, but I love you and I want us to get past this. That day on the roof, I promised to be there for you and I meant it. Dan and I are not together, we kinda have this brother-sister thing between us now, thanks to our parent's engagement. And, I guess that this finally makes us even on the Nate thing."

* * *

Rufus opened the front door after repeated knocks to find Blair Waldorf on their doorstep.

"Hey, hi Blair!"

"Hi, Mr. Humphrey. Is Dan in?"

"Yeah, he's in his room listening to depressing music. Go in and say hi, maybe it will make him stop playing that awful stuff," said Rufus, smiling at her in encouragement.

Blair walked past Rufus into the loft, making her way to Dan's bedroom door.

As she put her hand on the door knob, Rufus said, "Blair, tell Dan I'm spending the night at Lily's. Good luck in there."

Blair nodded. Rufus then grabbed his coat and left.

Blair stared around the room nervously, remembering the night she'd come here to make the deal with Dan. She momentarily steeled herself to have the same courage she'd had that night and then pushed down on the door handle and entered Dan's bedroom.

"Dad, I told you, I'm not in the mood for another pep talk," said Dan, turning down the music but still facing his computer.

"Is that how you greet guests, Humphrey?"

"Blair?"

"No, I'm a figment of your teenage fantasies."

She sat down on the bed, facing him, laid her purse gently beside her and crossed one leg behind the other delicately.

"So, I read your article…Very insightful."

Dan looked around the room uncomfortably, unsure of how to respond.

"Why do you like me, Dan? What is it about me, that makes you like me? What inspired that article?"

Dan turned to look at Blair and replied, "Very subtle Waldorf. _Why does one like someone?"_

"I'm asking the questions here, Humphrey. So…tell me, why do you like me?"

"Well, I like you because you are beautiful…" started Dan

"Very shallow, and I can get that off any greeting card. I need more than that."

He smiled at her comment and tried again. "I don't know…this is new to me…it's not something that I have fully quantified or identified. But, what I do know is that I enjoy being around you, even when you are being a pain in the, you-know-what. And somehow, all that pain is worth it, just to be around you.

"You can…you can be extremely sweet, in private especially. When you're excited, you act like a little girl and it's so infectious that everyone around you becomes excited too. You're not afraid to express your feelings or call me on my shit. You make me want to be a better person; you inspire me to be a better person.

When you're not around, I miss you a lot, to the point of pining. I think I finally began to clue in - or maybe I realized that I was sick in the head - when I started finding your plotting and vendettas sexy."

"God, ramble much?" Despite her joking tone, Blair was obviously impressed.

"Please, I'm totally adorable," replied Dan jokingly and more confidently.

Dan got up from the chair and walked towards the bed. He bent down in front of Blair and clasped her hands in his.

"So…how do you feel about me?"

"Very subtle Humphrey. _Why does one like someone?" _she parroted back at him.

Dan laughed, "I guess I deserved that, but I just gave you an excruciating ramble describing my feelings. Take pity on me."

"I like you too, Humphrey."

"And why do you like me?"

Blair laughed and added, "Because I'd rather be here than anywhere else."


	15. Chapter 15

**Epilogue**

Dear Blair,

The reason I wanted us to write letters for our anniversary is simple; I believe that letter writing is a lost art. As a romantic who loves classic movies, I thought you'd appreciate this more than an email, texts, voicemail or a card. Emails can be deleted, cards can be thrown away; a letter is a keepsake.

I'm writing this letter to you because I wanted to give you something personal. Something you can cherish and keep for years to show our children and grandchildren.

I know I've said this many times before, but I still pinch myself daily because I can't believe we are together or have lasted this long. I am terrified that I'll wake up one day to find you've gotten tired of me.

When I first got to know you in junior year, I told my Dad that you were a ninety-five pound package of girly evil – all fire and brimstone.

My Dad told me that you only acted that way for a reason. I didn't believe him then; not too long after that, I told him that dating you would be sick. I guess I'm a really sick individual, eating my own words.

Sure, it's nice hearing someone say I love you, but to read it in letter, knowing that someone took the time to write it - I think that's more meaningful and permanent than any verbal renditions of _I love you_ (not that I would stop saying it and I don't want you to stop saying it either).

This is my record of my heartfelt devotion to you. I love you more than life itself and will continue to do so as long as you'll have me.

Love

Dan

PS: Sorry I rambled; I tried not to, as I know how much you hate that.

* * *

Daniel, Daniel, Daniel,

I was surprised that you suggested we write letters to each other as part of our anniversary celebrations. It never seems to amaze me that you are the girl in this relationship.

Ok, I admit it, I cheated! I'm sorry but you're such a good writer and I didn't know what to write, so I asked Dorota to save all the trial letters you dumped in the trash. She also sneaked a peak at the final version whilst I kept you busy in the bathroom this morning. You love me and all my faults, right?

_You told Rufus what?_

All I can say is that, thou doth protest too much. You must have been in love with me or something? Does Serena know that all that time you were with her, you were secretly pinning for me? Not that I'm not flattered or didn't expect it, I'm Blair Waldorf.

I must really be a glutton for punishment for putting up with you for the past four years. I also did myself the additional injustice of living together.

Dan, you know I love you. Loving you is something that I've never regretted and never looked back on. Because being with you means continuously moving forward to something bigger and better. Now I sound just as sappy as you. I hope you're happy.

Love

Blair

* * *

Thank you for reading my story :)

PS: Thanks to slimkay for mentioning this - "it seemed like the final chapters went on too fast; no Chuck, little to no "courtship.""

D/B courtship was subtly described in the events that took place from chapters five onwards, basically it is an unintentional courtship masked as friendship, hence why, Chuck, Serena, Vanessa and Jenny asked or wondered what the state of their relationship was.

With regards to "no Chuck", it was a cutting room floor decision. I thought about adding a Chapter after 15, showing Chuck's reaction to them dating, however, my beta and I decided it would be an overkill and it was better the story ended at Chapter 14, with Chapter 15 providing the reader with an idea of what happened in their relationship post Chapter 14. If anyone is game, I would suggest reading the story from the start to end again and hopefully this should answer any questions and bring the courtship to your attention. XOXO


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